For those unaware or have better things to do than pay attention to which celebrities are promoting energy crystals, Goop is the lifestyle brand created by Gwyneth Paltrow.

The all-encompassing brand is both revered and mocked for its tendency to go beyond the boundaries of normalcy or the sizable American paycheck. 

Lo and behold the Goop 2017 holiday gift guide doesn't disappoint in its zest for bringing you the overpriced and absurd.

For example, a water bottle with an amethyst that infuses your water with "positive energy" for $84.

A residential float tank that helps you relieve stress in your own home for $16,500.

Your curated vehicle subscription service from Cadillac for $1800 a month. 

The only way to toast the stock market - a rose gold champagne tumbler for $2590 that reflects your priorities. 

And of course, a personal yellow submarine -- price upon request. 

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