Tesla Inc. (TSLA) - Get Reportshares posted their worst performance in more than five years on Wednesday, skidding over 7% in Wednesday trading, or more than $25 a share to $327.09 as investors took some time to ponder the latest news of a missed delivery target vs. the optimism of the company starting production of its latest car, the Model 3.
Tesla last fell more than 7% more than five years ago, on May 11, 2012, when it fell 7.26%.
If you were reading TheStreet that day five years ago, here are three other stories you would have seen.
1.Thank You, Yahoo!. Nobody, but nobody, does dumb like you.
On Tuesday, the Internet company's board announced the formation of a "special committee to conduct a thorough review of CEO Scott Thompson's academic credentials." This high-profile commission, which will include both independent directors and a bunch of high-priced attorneys, is the company's response to shareholder activist Dan Loeb's revelation that Yahoo's chief lied on his resume when he listed a bachelor's degree in computer science from Stonehill College, a credential that wasn't offered until four years after he graduated.
Of course, that's not enough for Third Point's Loeb, who says the internal investigation must not be conducted "behind a veil of secrecy." Anything short of Thompson facing a public firing squad would be insufficient to soothe Loeb, whose Pyrrhic proxy war has already claimed the scalps of Yahoo board members Roy Bostock and Jerry Yang.
And speaking of firings, apparently, it was decided that Yahoo! director Patti Hart will be the first to take the fall for Thompson's resume fudging. On Tuesday it was reported and later confirmed that Hart, who led the search committee that hired Thompson from PayPal in January, will not seek re-election to Yahoo's board.
We can only imagine that's probably a relief for Hart, whose day job is running International Game Technology (IGT) - Get Report . Although, who knows, she may miss the fun and games at Yahoo where every day seems like a corporate crap shoot.
And as for Thompson, well, we don't have to imagine how he feels, because he made his emotions quite clear this week in a letter to employees.
"I want you to know how deeply I regret how this issue has affected the company and all of you," wrote Thompson to his troops. "We have all been working very hard to move the company forward, and this has had the opposite effect. For that, I take full responsibility, and I want to apologize to you."
As for us, we just can't wait to see what happens when Loeb challenges the real question marks in Thompson's curriculum vitae: His love of travel, rock guitar, and Indian food.
Oh man, if he fabricated those things, this battle could really get bloody.
2. Facebook Foolishness
What in the name of Elvis Presley is happening on Wall Street? We thought Henry Blodget already left the building!
Facebook(FB) - Get Report isn't expected to go public until next week, and already a handful of Wall Street analysts are out touting its stock. Among those jumping the gun by officially initiating coverage on the social networking giant in the past week are Michael Pachter at Wedbush Morgan and Arvind Bhatia over at Sterne Agee.
Both research pieces, to nobody's surprise, were sweet on Mark Zuckerberg's yet-to-be-hatched baby. (By the way, did you see the Facebook CEO sporting a hoodie on the company's road show? Get a suit, Zuck! You can afford it.) Pachter rates the stock, which will trade under the ticker FB, at outperform with a $44 one-year price target. Bhatia, on the other hand, one-ups Pachter with a buy rating and a one-year target of $46 and a two-year target of $59.
Come on guys; we know the shares are already trading on the SecondMarket and a few other sundry places where bit-chompers swap paper, but chill out would you? Did you not see what happened when BATS Global Markets tried and failed to go public in March?
We're not saying things will go batty for Facebook as they did for BATS, but things can and do go wrong. So why tempt fate and jeopardize your reputations for the sake of grabbing a few headlines? Do you not remember what happened to Henry Blodget, Jack Grubman, and the other glory-seeking analysts during the last tech bubble? Has it been that long?
And speaking of Google, it's worth a quick mention that the search giant -- and Facebook nemesis -- had profits of approximately $10 billion on $40 billion in sales in 2011. Facebook, on the other hand, earned around $1 billion on $3.7 billion in revenue last year.
Google, which went public in 2004, currently sports a market cap of $200 billion and has since expanded into things like Android and other people's patents. Meanwhile, Facebook, which is still figuring out its revenue model, is expected to be valued around $100 billion at the high end of its IPO range.
In other words, it took the very savvy guys at Google eight years as a public company to reach its current size, and, according to Bhatia and his buddies, Facebook will get there in about two.
Talk about putting the hoodie before the horse.
3. Green Mountain Morons
What a pair of drips!
Green Mountain Coffee Roasters stripped founder and chairman Robert Stiller of his board titles Tuesday after a margin call forced him to unload a boatload of shares during a company-mandated black-out period for insider selling. Joining Stiller in hot water was lead director William Davis, who was also defrocked of his leadership duties.
All-in, the pair, who will still remain on the board, were pressured to puke up 5.55 million Green Mountain shares on May 4 and May 7 to meet margin call requirements in the wake of the stock's nearly 50% shellacking last Thursday over its lowered guidance.
"These forced sales are disappointing and beyond the control of the company. Once the board was notified of this trading activity, it moved quickly to investigate and address this matter," said Green Mountain in a statement.
True, the coffee seller cannot control the idiocy of its executives. If these bean heads want to lever themselves up beyond belief, that's their prerogative.
That said, the board does have the authority to kick these morons out of its ranks entirely as opposed to meekly banning them from committee work. Seriously, what kind of precedent does it set for the rest of the company if these guys get wrist slaps for selling during a prohibited period while your average Joe gets canned for the same offense?
Yeah, we said "average Joe"! So we use a lot of puns, what's it to you?
Hmmm. Maybe we need to switch to decaf, but this kind of stupidity just makes us boil.
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