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Cramer said on Thursday the market decided that oil prices were all that matter after a surprising drop in oil inventories sent prices spiking $2 a barrel. The news sent shares of Chesapeake Energy (CHK - Get Report) soaring 13.6%, despite the company's horrible balance sheet, and Diamond Offshore (DO - Get Report) up 8.9%, despite the company just telling investors that its business was awful with crude below $60 a barrel.
Cramer said the only oil company he's excited about is Apache (APA - Get Report) , which announced a gigantic oil find that could yield three billion barrels of oil. But even with this huge discovery, Cramer said it may be a year until the reserves are verified.
But while the market is blindly sending oil stocks higher, it's also punishing everyone else, like Apple (AAPL - Get Report) , an Action Alerts PLUS holding the fell 2.6% on the news it will no longer report opening weekend sales for the iPhone. Does this mean iPhone sales are slumping or that the iPhone's worldwide launch to hundreds of thousands of outlets across the globe is now too big to estimate? The market says the former, but Cramer said it's the latter.
The markets have also declared the end of retail -- Pier1 Imports (PIR - Get Report) and Tractor Supply (TSCO - Get Report) announced disappointing earnings that sent shares plunging 15% and 16.9%, respectively.
When the market decides only one thing is working, that makes things treacherous for everyone else, Cramer concluded.
Executive Decision: Jeff Marrazzo
In his "Executive Decision" segment, Cramer sat down with Jeff Marrazzo, co-founder and CEO of Spark Therapeutics (ONCE - Get Report) , the biotech developing one-time gene therapies for hemophilia and other genetic diseases.
Marrazzo said Spark's clinical trial for its retina therapy saw 93% of patients show a response, with some patients regaining parts of their vision after just a one-time treatment. He said the responses have been highly consistent and very robust, which is encouraging news for all of their therapies.
Presently, Spark is developing genetic therapies for the retina, liver and central nervous system.
When asked about the current debate in Washington over drug pricing, Marrazzo said therapies like Spark's have never been seen before, with patients regaining functions they had previously lost. Given the long-lasting benefits patients are seeing, Marrazzo said it's time to rethink how companies are reimbursed for their efforts. Spark is leading in those conversations.
Food for Thought
Safety, it appears, just costs too much, Cramer told viewers, as he circled back to the consumer packaged goods companies that have been having a tough quarter.
Cramer said Wednesday's guidance cut from General Mills (GIS - Get Report) was surprising, as this company has been one of the steadiest earners around. The company cited rising competition in the yogurt space for its weakness.
Another food stock, Campbell Soup (CPB - Get Report) has seen its shares fall over 10% in just the past four months for similar reasons. Cramer noted that after a big run higher, the company's shrinking dividend yield now offers little protection.
Off the Tape
In his "Off the Tape" segment, Cramer sat down with Jim Mizes, president and COO of the privately held Blaze Pizza, a unique build-your-own pizza concept that lets patrons choose from over 40 fresh toppings and bakes their pizza in just three minutes.
Mizes said anyone can make a pizza, but only a chef can make a high-quality pizza like Blaze. That's why Blaze focuses only on fresh ingredients with no artificial flavors or colors and has a chef curating the dough and sauces.
When asked what makes Blaze a success, Mizes explained it's a combination of fresh ingredients, speed of service and the overall experience customers have at their restaurants.
Mizes praised NBA star LeBron James, who is not only a spokesman for the company, but was an early investor and a franchisee of the chain. LeBron has been instrumental in spreading the word about Blaze, Mizes said.
In the Lightning Round, Cramer was bullish on Pioneer Natural Resources (PXD - Get Report) , EOG Resources (EOG - Get Report) , Occidental Petroleum (OXY - Get Report) and Ford Motor (F - Get Report) .
Am I Diversified?
In the "Am I Diversified?" segment, Cramer spoke with callers and responded to tweets sent via Twitter to @JimCramer to see if investors' portfolios have what it takes for today's markets.
Cramer identified far too much technology in this portfolio, seeing no drug stocks or industrials. He also saw too much speculation that needed to be addressed.
The second portfolio's top holdings included Yamana Gold (AUY - Get Report) , Caterpillar (CAT - Get Report) , CSX (CSX - Get Report) , Johnson & Johnson (JNJ - Get Report) and McDonald's (MCD - Get Report) .
Cramer blessed this portfolio, saying that he really liked this caller's choices.
The third portfolio had American Electric Power (AEP - Get Report) , Cisco Systems, Eaton (ETN - Get Report) , Kimco Realty (KIM - Get Report) and Wells Fargo (WFC - Get Report) as its top five stocks.
Cramer said "Wow," as this portfolio was also perfectly diversified.
Once again, Cramer said this portfolio was properly diversified.
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