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The markets have once again entered "crazy town," Jim Cramer told his Mad Money viewers Tuesday, that mystical place where stocks rally when oil rises, even though only 7% of the S&P 500 actually does better with higher energy prices.
Most oil producers need oil at $45 a barrel in order to weather the storm, Cramer explained. With oil a full $9 a barrel short of those levels, it makes no sense to see the oil stocks rally on such a little bump in the price of crude as we saw Tuesday. If Kinder Morgan (KMI - Get Report) , the most bullish of oil bulls, can slash its dividend by 75% in the blink of an eye, investors need to beware.
That doesn't mean there aren't stocks benefiting from lower oil prices. Darden Restaurants (DRI - Get Report) , along with Carnival Cruises (CCL - Get Report) , Cintas (CTAS - Get Report) and ConAgra (CAG - Get Report) all posted strong results, as did Nike (NKE - Get Report) after the bell.
Off the Charts
In the "Off the Charts" segment, Cramer went head to head with colleague Carly Garner over the direction of oil prices and how they relate to currencies.
Looking at a weekly chart of West Texas Intermediary (WTI) crude versus the euro, Garner noted the two trade together, almost in lock-step, especially at the tops and bottoms. The euro, it turns out, seems to lead the price of crude. That would be bullish for oil because the euro is gaining steam.
Then Garner examined a weekly chart of the price of WTI against the Commitment of Traders report from 2011 until the present. She noted many big long-term bulls have finally begun liquidating their positions, which would be bullish for crude once that selling subsides.
Finally, Garner looked at a weekly chart of WTI from 2008 until the present and noted the relative strength indicator is showing a positive divergence, another sign that buyers lurk at the $32 level.
Cramer said he's not a believer in Garner's comeback thesis quite yet because it's predicted to be an unseasonably warm holiday later this week, and that's bad for heating oil demand.
4 Companies Apple Should Buy
With so many investors fearing Apple (AAPL - Get Report) shares have stalled or are heading lower, Cramer offered up some advice for this Action Alerts PLUS holding, some sure-fire things CEO Tim Cook could do to reinvigorate growth.
Next, Cramer said Apple could also buy Pandora (P) and own the streaming music market, followed by buying Fitbit (FIT - Get Report) to own the wearable fitness tracker market that its own Apple Watch doesn't currently compete with.
For a mere $20 billion, Cramer concluded Apple could buy all four of these companies and put the skeptics to rest once and for all.
Executive Decision: Marty Mucci
For his "Executive Decision" segment, Cramer spoke with Marty Mucci, president and CEO of Paychex (PAYX - Get Report) , the payroll processor that posted a 1 cent-a-share earnings beat. Shares of Paychex are up 11% since Cramer last checked in back in September and sport a 3.2% dividend yield.
Mucci said every 1% rise in interest rates translates to $20 million a year to Paychex' bottom line. That means the Federal Reserve's quarter point hike will translate to $4 million to $5 million in profits.
When asked about the economy, Mucci said new business formation remains strong and the overall economy is holding steady. He called out the South, the West Coast and Dallas as pockets of strong growth.
Mucci said there's big growth in temporary employment as part of the new "sharing economy," and with new modules just added to the company's cloud platform, Paychex is poised to take market share in that area.
Cramer continued his support for Paychex.
In the Lightning Round, Cramer was bullish on Hain Celestial Group (HAIN - Get Report) , Union Pacific (UNP - Get Report) , Ventas (VTR - Get Report) , Dollar General (DG - Get Report) and Visa (V - Get Report) .
Executive Decision: Andre Choulika
In his second "Executive Decision" segment, Cramer sat down with Andre Choulika, co-founder, chairman and CEO of the French early-stage biotech Cellectis (CLLS - Get Report) , which is pioneering cancer-fighting immunotherapies.
Choulika explained that Cellectis is taking t-cells, which are the cells in your body that typically fight off things like the flu, and reprogramming them to recognize and target cancer cells.
Choulika said Cellectis has tested its therapy on a just a single patient thus far, but that patient, who had no other options left, is currently cancer-free because the therapy successfully targeted and destroyed her tumor.
Cramer said while Cellectis is highly speculative, its treatments are most promising.
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