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What are the markets fretting about? Cramer ticked off the reasons. First, there's Friday's non-farm payroll report. The bulls are terrified of a strong number because that could certainly spark the Federal Reserve into raising interest rates. The Fed has been sending mixed signals as of late, calling rate hikes both inevitable but also data-driven, so what tomorrow's employment data really means is anyone's guess.
Next, there's Greece. What does a Greece-inspired meltdown really look like? The bears have many theories but no one really knows for sure. What the market needs is a resolution, any resolution, so investors can stop worrying and get on with it.
Lastly, the markets are worried about OPEC and whether Saudi Arabia will continue to keep oil prices low to stunt U.S. production growth. Low oil prices would be good news for some industries, like the airlines, but certainly not for the oil and energy-related stocks.
That's not to say good things can't happen tomorrow, Cramer concluded. We could receive a soft employment number, keeping the Fed at bay. There could be a resolution to Greece. And OPEC could signal a nice, slow move in oil prices. Any of those events would be met with a rally, as the markets often tend to rally once big, bad events finally happen.
Cramer Smells a Merger
Both T-Mobile and Dish stocks rallied higher today on the rumors that the two might be in merger talks. Cramer said the deal makes perfect sense. T-Mobile is a terrific wireless carrier but lacks wireless spectrum; Dish is a terrific TV operator that also happens to have a ton of available spectrum.
Put these two together and you'd have a wireless powerhouse with a TV kicker, Cramer noted. That's why the cellular tower stocks all rallied today in anticipation of a deal that would surely see T-Mobile rapidly building out its network capacity.
Neither company is commenting on the rumors, but Cramer concluded the deal would be a winner.
Executive Decision: Arnold Donald
For his "Executive Decision" segment, Cramer sat down with Arnold Donald, president and CEO of Carnival (CCL), the cruise operator that's staged a remarkable turnaround after a series of disasters including capsized ships, engine room fires and ebola scares.
Donald explained that Carnival's turnaround started with a remarkable company that aligned all nine of its brands around a common objective, giving their guests more than what they want. Once the problems were addressed, the challenge was to change the image of cruising, primarily through word mouth.
Donald also touted Carnival's 10th brand, Fathom, which is debuting with a single ship. Fathom introduces the concept of social impact cruising, sailing to a destination and doing some good while you're there. Fathom's destination is the Dominican Republic, where guests can volunteer in a variety of areas.
Carnival has also improved its operations, cutting costs and reducing its fuel needs by 25%.
Executive Decision: Dr. Randall Schatzman
In his second "Executive Decision" segment, Cramer sat down with Dr. Randall Schatzman, founder, president and CEO of Alder Biopharmaceuticals (ALDR), a development-stage biotech working on two antibody therapies for chronic migraines and rheumatoid arthritis.
Schatzman explained that there are 36 million patients in the U.S. who suffer from migraines, which is debilitating and causes nausea, vomiting and light sensitivity. Alder's therapy targets the cause of migraines, preventing them from happening in the first place.
So far the treatment has been met with positive responses in Phase II trials, with nearly a third of patients experiencing zero migraines. Schatzman said the treatment is being tested as an IV infusion and a self-administered option.
Alder's rheumatoid arthritis treatment is in Phase I testing but is also proving to be favorable with more patients going into remission than the current leading treatments.
Given the gigantic unmet needs, Cramer said he sees why this stock is up 229% over the past year.
Am I Diversified?
In the "Am I Diversified?" segment, Cramer spoke with callers and responded to tweets sent via Twitter to @JimCramer to see if investors' portfolios have what it takes for today's markets. The first portfolio included Apple (AAPL), Tesla Motors (TSLA), Hertz (HTZ), Petrobras (PBR) and Groupon (GRPN).
Cramer said this portfolio was properly diversified.
Cramer also blessed this portfolio as perfectly diversified.
Cramer said this portfolio also made the grade for proper diversification.
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