If Microsoft Only Admitted How Bad It Stinks

NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- If you watch Cramer on "Mad Money" or read/watch him at TheStreet, you're familiar with the Domino's Pizza (DPZ) story. Easily the best turnaround case study of the decade.

In most self-deprecating fashion, Domino's outed itself. Michael Sam-style. In hyper public fashion. But, of course, we all knew. Nobody was surprised to hear that Domino's pizza stunk. It stuck to the box. It tasted like cardboard. It wasn't worthy of table scraps for the dog. No shocker -- probably akin to the response Michael Sam received from his teammates at Missouri when he came out. Ok, Mike ... any other "bombshells" for us ... let's move on.

And they have. Just like Domino's did. Microsoft (MSFT) needs to take a page out of this book.

It doesn't need to keep shoving the Surface tablet down our collective throat. During the NBA Playoffs, I saw a commercial for the failed device's latest iteration. And it makes me wonder about all the love the tech and financial media's spewing at Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella. If this guy has his finger on the pulse of Microsoft, he knows the company failed with consumers like Donald Sterling failed with "the Black people" (thanks Anderson Cooper!!) long ago.

While human beings don't necessarily hate Microsoft hardware (and its entrenched and equally as unwieldy software) as much as they did, say, Domino's Pizza or do cable, they sport apathy towards it at best. Nobody gets excited about Microsoft stuff. It's not aspirational. It's not sexy. It doesn't even work that well. It's simply, in some corners of life, a sad utilitarian requirement. 

Nobody who buys or will eventually adopt mobile devices wants to buy anything Microsoft/Windows Mobile. The marketshare sucks. It's, for all intents and purposes, non-existent.

So why waste your time?

Spend your cash buying time and space during golf broadcasts telling C-level executives who still use BlackBerries about all of these enterprise initiatives a handful of tortured readers tell me will save Microsoft (just like security was going to save BlackBerry (BBRY)).

Short and sweet, but very complete -- don't let the stock price appreciation fool you. In tech these days, investors are so desperate for a good story they're looking for anything to get excited about. Right now, Nadella and Microsoft fit what is an incredibly lame bill.

Microsoft needs to fade into the background -- basically become a company like IBM (IBM) -- and only face the consumer with the one piece of hardware worth texting home about. That's Xbox. Otherwise, drop all the old Ballmer consumer-related initiatives. Admit they have failed. Admit that there's no way you'll ever compete with Android, let alone anything Apple (AAPL) does.

--Written by Rocco Pendola in Santa Monica, Calif.

Rocco Pendola is a full-time columnist for TheStreet. He lives in Santa Monica. Disclosure: TheStreet's editorial policy prohibits staff editors, reporters and analysts from holding positions in any individual stocks.

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