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Cramer said the first camp of investors consists of those former momentum investors who now want to leave the markets ASAP to avoid giving back all of their gains. These investors are shedding stocks like Twitter (TWTR), FireEye (FEYE) and, most recently, King Digital (KING), which declined over 13% today alone.
The second camp of investors is the data junkies, those who are solely focused on things like the latest jobs data, auto and truck sales and Federal Reserve surveys. Cramer said these investors see things as getting better, and they love stocks like the industrials and the growth oil names. These investors are responsible for the gains in Alcoa (AA) and Pioneer Natural Resources (PXD).
The final investor cohort is honed in on bonds. Cramer said this "safety first" group actually has two sub-groups. The first equates low interest rates with recession and thus loves the utilities. The second sub-group is looking for income and is focused on the food and beverage names that offer big dividends.
Cramer said these three groups are duking it out every day and it's almost impossible to determine the winner ahead of time. That's why investors must use caution until a clear direction appears.
Take Whole Foods Off Your List
You can keep shopping at Whole Foods Market (WFM) for your groceries, Cramer told viewers, but if you're shopping for Whole Foods' stock, it's probably best to wait a while.
Whole Foods is a difficult stock to gauge, said Cramer. On one hand, the company is a pioneer and the best-of-breed operator in its space. But on the other hand, the company has guided estimates lower multiple times this year, leading to a 15% haircut in its share price.
Cramer said the problem is that over time analysts will begin paying less and less for an inconsistent operator, which could lead to Whole Foods losing its 24 times multiple. The average supermarket trades at a multiple of just 16 times earnings.
In the end, Cramer said he still believes Whole Foods in best in show. But while the stock continues to make the transition from growth to value, investors will need to sit on the sidelines until the stock gets so cheap that it will be impossible to ignore.
"Wrong, wrong, wrong." That's how Cramer characterized the upcoming initial public offering of Alibaba, China's largest Internet e-commerce destination. Cramer said the markets needs this deal like it needs a hole in the head; unfortunately, the deal cannot be stopped.
Cramer said while it's true Alibaba is profitable and does have 57% revenue growth, along with a whole lot of hype, the only thing investors should be asking is, "Where will the money for this mega-IPO come from?" The answer, he said, is from every other stock in the market.
Alibaba will act as a magnet, Cramer continued, sucking money out of what little bull market exists.
Cramer said he's suspect of the company's ownership structure, for one. Yahoo! (YHOO) owns a 23% stake in the company and plans to sell at least part of that stake to fund its growth elsewhere. "If Yahoo is a seller, why should I be a buyer?" Cramer asked.
Then there is the political and financial risks associated with owning a Chinese company. China's economy appears to be decelerating by the day, said Cramer, and that doesn't bode well for Alibaba.
Cramer said the Alibaba deal is the wrong type of business, coming at the wrong time, from the wrong country. No matter whether it succeeds or fails, the rest of market loses.
Executive Decision: Adam McKim
For his "Executive Decision" segment, Cramer spoke with Adam McKim, chairman and CEO of Clean Harbors (CLH), a stock that's been trading sideways since early 2012.
McKim admitted that Clean Harbors did overpay for its acquisition of Safety-Kleen 15 months ago, and the company does have a lot of work left to do to fully integrate that acquisition, and others, into the Clean Harbors family. Ultimately, however, McKim said Safety-Kleen will be a "home run" for Clean Harbors.
When asked about the role oil and gas is playing at Clean Harbors, McKim said the industry only accounts for 10% of revenue at the moment, but noted that oil and gas does drive a lot of extra volume to the company's landfill operations, which is seeing lots of growth.
Cramer said that with an activist investor now involved at Clean Harbors, he thinks the stocks is greasing up for its next leg higher.
In the Lightning Round, Cramer was bullish on BioMarin (BMRN), Alcatel-Lucent (ALU), Nokia (NOK), SPDR Gold Shares (GLD), American Airlines (AAL), Delta Air Lines (DAL), Spirit Airlines (SAVE) and SandRidge Energy (SD).
Cramer was bearish on Vale (VALE), New Gold (NGD), Southwest Airlines (LUV) and Abraxas Petroleum (AXAS).
Executive Decision: Martin Richenhagen
In his second "Executive Decision" segment, Cramer welcomed Martin Richenhagen, chairman, president and CEO of AGCO (AGCO), the ag equipment maker that's seen its shares rise 6% since Cramer last checked in just three months ago. AGCO just delivered a monster 27-cents-a-share earnings beat with upside guidance.
Richenhagen said the fundamentals of the farm equipment business remain very strong, as recent estimates predict that food production will need to double by 2050 in order to keep pace with our growing global population.
When asked about the unrest in Ukraine. Richenhagen said company's joint venture in Ukraine remains intact and has not been affected by sanctions or disruptions so far. He also noted he's met with Russia's Vladimir Putin about that country's growing need for farm equipment and Richenhagen remains confident that a diplomatic solution will be reached so those talks can continue.
Cramer said Richenhagen has a good story to tell and he expects shares of AGCO to head higher.
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-- Written by Scott Rutt in Washington, D.C.
To email Scott about this article, click here: Scott Rutt