Happy Thanksgiving to Five Dumbest fans everywhere. We have a lot to feel thankful for here at The Five Dumbest Lab, especially those Wall Street turkeys who continue to stuff us with material each and every week.
To show our heartfelt appreciation for all that inanity, we offer you The Five Dumbest Thanksgiving Quiz, recapping Wall Street's biggest flops this fall. Answering correctly could win you an autographed copy of Jim Cramer's upcoming book Get Rich Carefully and a handful of those squishy bulls he throws around the Mad Money set.
Enter by midnight Wednesday, Nov. 26, by emailing your answers here with the words "Contest Entry" in the subject line. We'll rerun the column Friday, Nov. 29 with the answers and the name of the winner. If there is more than one correct entry, we'll have a drawing, of course.
1. AIG (AIG) CEO Bob Benmosche compared the public outrage over his firms giant bailout bonus checks to what during a September WSJ interview?
A. Brazilian soccer riots
B. Tea Party Rallies
C. Kid n Play House Parties
D. Lynchings in the Deep South
2. Which company's stock did overeager Twitter (TWTR) investors mistakenly pile into a month before the social media company went public in November, sending its shares up 1,400%?
A. Towers Watson
B. Tweeter Home Entertainment Group
D. Time Warner
3. Shares of Coronado BioSciences (CNDO) tumbled 67% to $1.91 in mid-October after the company blamed a higher-than-expected placebo response for the failure of its experimental Crohns Disease treatment in a Phase II study. What was the active ingredient of Coronados drug?
A. Altered cells found in the livers of chickens
B. Irradiated soybeans
C. Live eggs of a parasite found in pig excrement
D. Expired Parmalat milk
4. Which ratings agency downgraded Americas local and foreign currency ratings to A- from A in October despite Congress' last ditch deal to end the government shutdown?
5. What did domestic diva Martha Stewart say in late October after her company Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia (MSO) reduced its J.C. Penney (JCP) offerings in order to settle its legal dispute with Macys?
A. We cleared up the issue. I hope this helps in the resolution of the lawsuit.
B. I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I don't want to.
C. It must have been some other body, uh uh, Sarge, it wasn't me.
D. I just did it and I want to do it again.
6. A late October SEC filing revealed that activist investor Carl Icahn sold more than half of his Netflix (NFLX) stake, or more than 3 million shares for a 457% profit. What did his portfolio manager son Brett say in the same disclosure?
A. We believe the company remains significantly undervalued.
B. We believe Netflix is one of the great consumer bargains of our time.
C. What the hell does he know? My dad cant even set the clock on the microwave oven, let alone download a Netflix movie.
D. Answers A & B
E. None of the above
7. Which of the following are titles of reports issued this fall by Carson Block's research firm Muddy Waters about Chinese mobile security software company NQ Mobile (NQ)?
A. NQs Top Ten Lies Since Friday
B. If You Believe in Yidatong, Youll Believe in Santa Claus
C. NQs US Veneer: Withholding Facts, Conned Men, and a Convicted Racketeer
D. All of the above
E. None of the above.
8. McDonalds (MCD) announced in late October its plan to replace Heinz as its ketchup supplier, ending its 40-year relationship with the condiment company. The fast food giant took the drastic step because Heinz new CEO Bernando Hees previously was the head of which Mickey Dees competitor?
B. Burger King
9. Who replaced Thorsten Heins after he stepped down as BlackBerrys (BBRY) CEO in early November?
A. Thurston Howell III
B. The Mighty Thor
C. John Chen
D. Jackie Chan
10. Fantex scrapped its IPO plan in November after Arian Foster revealed his back injuries were too great for him to return to the playing field. Under Fantex's scheme, Foster would have been the first professional athlete to go public. What team does Foster play for?
A. Houston Texans
B. Pittsburgh Pisces
C. New York Knights
D. North Dallas Bulls
BONUS: JPMorgan Chase (JPM) was forced to scrap a Twitter question and answer session in November after the bank received a flood of insulting tweets. What is the name of the investment banker that was scheduled to answer all those questions prior to the cancellation?
A. Jimmy Dean
B. Jimmy Lee
C. Jimmy Conway
D. Jimmy Two Times
E. Jimmie J.J. Walker
-- Written by Gregg Greenberg in New York