1. Dell's Thin Dime

Come on, Michael. Sparing the dime isn't exactly spoiling the shareholder.

Private equity giant Silver Lake Partners and Michael Dell magnanimously raised their $24.4 billion offer for Dell ( DELL) 10 full cents Wednesday, as the buyout consortium continues its never-ending battle against billionaire busybody Carl Icahn -- seriously, is there a Street fight he is not involved in? -- for control of the troubled PC maker. The revised offer of $13.75 a share increases Dell's buyout price by approximately $150 million and comes a week after the pair were unable to garner majority support for their takeover at Dell's July 18 shareholder meeting.

In case you were wondering, we here at the Dumbest lab were all set to write about that meeting until it was called on account of impotence.

A special committee of Dell's board of directors said Wednesday they will need to review the terms of Silver Lake's proposed price increase before making a recommendation to shareholders. To do that, the special committee adjourned Dell's shareholder vote until 10 a.m. EST on Aug. 2 and extended a deadline for its revised offer until an hour before the Aug. 2 vote.

Once again, for the record, we were ready, willing and able to cover that second meeting. Unfortunately, they were disorganized, dysfunctional and disordered, so it was called on account of insanity.

Luckily, we get a third and final crack at it next week. (Although you never know, it could get pushed out again, just like the buyout team's "last and final offer" was pushed back a dime.)

And there will be a twist at the next confab. In addition to the increased offer, Silver Lake and Michael Dell are asking that Dell's special committee agree to revise the merger so absentee votes at the shareholder meeting aren't counted against the takeover consortium. It has been reported that about 20% of Dell's shareholders were absent the July 18 vote, creating a roadblock for the private equity buyers.

Um, sorry to say Michael, but we don't think this was the most PC move in your quest to buy the PC maker. All the folks who thought you were stealing the company are not going to be thrilled to hear you are now trying to steal the election.

They may forgive you for another 25 cents though.

-- Written by Gregg Greenberg in New York

Disclosure: TheStreet's editorial policy prohibits staff editors and reporters from holding positions in any individual stocks.

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