The Swami

Old hippies never die, they just fade into career coaching. After a lifetime of rolfing, est, gestalt dialogues, zazen meditation, sex therapy and finding their inner child, these pseudo-shrinks are ready to help you obtain career nirvana. They post groovy profiles on groovy Web sites like Noomii.com -- get it? "new me"? They're great at group hugs, and even better at emotional manipulation.

Hire: Do dialogues such as those discussed in Parlour Magazine ("I feel such a strong energy, fearfulness, anxiousness, frustration . . . I want you all to know that you are all infinitely talented and capable of achieving goals beyond your wildest imagination . . ") get your career juices flowing? If so, you've found your coach. Peace.

Fire: If, per chance, you prefer a little red meat with your granola, then read on.

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