None of these are absurd. Disney could be bought at a 50% premium to its current price and Apple still would not need to borrow money. CBS is a year's worth of cash. When News Corp ( NWS) splits into Fox and publishing, Apple can buy it and still have $800 billion left to pay out some dividend that gets Einhorn off its back. Time Warner would eat up a similar amount. Apple could partner with Verizon ( VZ) on Fios, just write them a check. Hey, they split Verizon wireless with Vodaphone. Why not split Fios with Verizon? Think about it. The telco giant gets no real credit for running Fios throughout major portions of this country. Why not cut Verizon a check for $65 billion now that it is built out and take half. Verizon couldn't be unhappy with that. Its whole equity is valued at only twice that. Or, maybe, just maybe, Apple spends a $32 billion (again, chump change) and pays Dish Network $33 billion, a double from the current price and then takes the rest of the money and makes sure the satellite feed is good enough for voice and data and then gives you a package that has what you want for say half of what you are paying now? Wouldn't Congress want that? Wouldn't you want that? Maybe the issue with the challenge from David Einhorn is that it is just too pedestrian. We have been thinking that CEO Tim Cook can't roll the cable companies the way Jobs rolled the record companies. But maybe because Apple and Apple only, has the cash to do all of these initiatives, it just doesn't matter. Maybe, David Einhorn, maybe Apple snickerers, cash is still king. And the king lives in Cupertino. Action Alerts PLUS, which Cramer co-manages as a charitable trust, is long AAPL.Stick With Quality in EnergyPosted at 6:10 a.m. EST on Thursday, Feb. 7 It happened again. Another master limited partnership secondary and another win. This time it is Enterprise Product Partners ( EPD) with an 8-million-share secondary priced at $54.56, a deal where about a dozen execs and board members so far have filed that they participated in, all with sizable amounts.