The Best of Kass

NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- Doug Kass of Seabreeze Partners is known for his accurate stock market calls and keen insights into the economy, which he shares with RealMoney Pro readers in his daily trading diary.

Among his posts this past week, Kass continued his holiday tradition of paying tribute to Jim Cramer and Dr. Seuss.

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Jim Cramer's Pool
Originally published on Wednesday, Dec. 19 at 9:15 a.m. EST.

As another year passes, it's time to revisit the annual tribute to Cramer's vision.
And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling; how could it be so?
It came without ribbons. It came without tags.
It came without packages, boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store?
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?

-- Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas; YouTube link

Another year is about to pass.

Remarkably, next month will mark my 12th year as a regular on these pages. That's a lot of words, ideas and investment observations. I actually started out writing on TheStreet.com back in the late 1990s, when I penned the column "The Contrarian." At that time, the site was a relatively new concept and a real-time experiment that struggled in its infancy, but it began to flourish even as the economy and markets suffered in 2001.

Since I started writing for Jim Cramer, we have not only dealt with the market's ups and downs, but we have shared some of life's experiences together -- through visits, emails, telephone conversations and other personal correspondences. I have defended Jimmy, I have written a piece called "On Jim Being Cramer" and have transformed myself at times into the Anti-Cramer. I have agreed and disagreed with him -- all the while with maximum respect for Jim as a businessman, an investor, a friend, an author, a media figure and, most important, as a dad.

Happily, over more than a decade, I have met numerous other new friends -- both virtually and in person -- from my experience as a member of the community at TheStreet.

We have all experienced some terribly emotional times -- most notably the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001, and the loss of contributor Bill "Budman" Meehan and many of our friends. We mourned together. However, as painful as that period was, over time we recovered and life went on.

We have now recently concluded the celebration of Hanukkah, we're preparing for Christmas and the New Year will be shortly upon us, so it's time to revisit my annual tribute to Jim "El Capitan" Cramer's vision.

This year's version of my tribute to Jim has more meaning to me than the others -- as I recently and successfully conquered cancer. It is life experiences of this type that makes one even more thankful.

As I mention annually, a few paragraphs could not possibly communicate the warm feelings I have about many of my acquired relationships -- with subscribers, with contributors, with editors, with the management of TheStreet and, of course, with Jim, who lies at the middle of it all.

Several years ago, I initiated something different in order to express my sincere thanks and to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season in my own special way. This morning, as I now do on an annual basis, I offer you the following (updated) parody of Dr. Seuss's McElligot's Pool ( Wikipedia link) ( Amazon link)

This is my holiday present to all of you, but it's especially in honor of someone who has had another remarkable encore performance in 2012, Jim "El Capitan" Cramer.

This year we saw Cramerica reach not only millions more television viewers, but many universities as well. Jim hit it out of the park when he followed up his past MVP season. His books all represent a unique body of work, as well: Jim Cramer's Getting Back to Even, Jim Cramer's Stay Mad for Life: Get Rich, Stay Rich (Make Your Kids Even Richer), Jim Cramer's Mad Money: Watch TV, Get Rich, Jim Cramer's Real Money: Sane Investing in an Insane World, Confessions of a Street Addict and You Got Screwed! Why Wall Street Tanked and How You Can Prosper.

Jim is the lifeblood and at the epicenter of TheStreet and its sister sites, Real Money and Real Money Pro.

Over the past few years, the man who doesn't want to make friends but does want to make you money, has introduced the words "skidaddy" and "boo-yah" and made them part of the investment world's vernacular. He has graced the cover of national magazines and has become an iconic figure. As such, he stands out, night after night, with nonstop enthusiasm and hard work, giving his best shot in dispelling advice in a reasoned and well-researched manner -- both absolutely and relative to others in the media.

Being such a public persona with strong opinions, he is often the target of criticism. I admire the way he accepts that criticism like a man and the manner in which he fights back with facts and figures, and with such an immense and rich reservoir of financial history and knowledge.

Over the past several years, in numerous emails, telephone calls and one-on-one meetings (on and off the set), I have learned to appreciate Jim as an investment professional -- and, more important, as a man and as a dad. His drive for perfection has resulted in huge sacrifices. But you wouldn't know it, because he doesn't say it. Jim could easily be reaping the benefits of managing a multibillion dollar hedge fund today, earning an annual salary of tens of millions, and maybe more. Instead, he strives to educate the individual investor.

How many of us would choose the route that Jim has traveled?

I remember fondly when I first wrote "Jim Cramer's Pool," and Jim told me that he read this poem to his two daughters at bedtime. It made me very happy, and made my gig on TheStreet was made even more worthwhile, because I know how central they are to his life.

If you look hard and Jimmy -- at the twinkle in his eye -- it's all about his daughters and their importance and influence in his life.

To turn Gertrude Stein's words around, in Jimmy, there is a lot of there there. Trust me, I know -- Jim is complicated. It is that what makes Jim the unique person he is.

So, from the Anti-Cramer to the one and only real Cramer, this Bud's for you, Jimmy. Thanks for being my pal.

But before I deliver this year's version of "Jim Cramer's Pool," I wanted to close by wishing our subscribers, editors, technicians, management and fellow contributors a healthy and prosperous New Year. I especially wanted to thank you all for granting me the wonderful platform to present my ideas and logic in my Diary -- as goofy, distorted and wrong-footed as my words might seem at times.

Now to "Jim Cramer's Pool!"

It all started in June 1996In a building on Wall Street ... far, far away.

"Young man," exclaimed the analyst,"You're sort of a fright!You'll never catch winnersOn Jim Cramer's site!

"The site is too small.And you might as well know it,When brokers sell junk,Here's the place that they throw it.

"But listen, young man.If you sat 50 yearsWith your worms and your wishesYou'd grow a long beardLong before you'd catch winners!"

"Hmmm...," answered Cramer,"It may be you're right.I've written for hoursWithout one single bite.There might be no winners.But, again, well, there might!

"Cause you never can tellWhat goes on over time!This site might be biggerThan you or I find!

"This might be a site, like I've read of in textbooks,Connected to one of those underground brooks!An underground river that starts here and flowsRight under 14 Wall! And then ... well, who knows?

"It might keep going along, down where no one can see,Right under the State Highway Two-Thousand-and-Three!Right under the buildings! Right under the toesOf a honcho named Sozzi, who's hanging out his clothes!

"It might keep on flowing ... perhaps, who can tell?Right under the people in Elisabeth DeMarse's hotel!Right under Brown Brothers, where they're playing croquet!Then under the mountains and far, far away!

"This might be a river, Now mightn't it be,Connecting Jim Cramer's site with the sea!Then maybe some winners might be swimming toward me.(If such things could be, They certainly would be!)

"Some very smart strategists might point out the wayTo the site where I'm fishing. And that's why I sayIf you wait long enough; if you're patient and bright,Who knows what you'll catch on Jim Cramer's site?!

"You might catch a Missing Link (that's my pal Stephanie by name!)You might catch a 'K-Squared' (that's managing editor Kim Khan!)You might catch a WidlitzA long, long drawn-out fish!

"You might even catch an (Insider) Monkey named KrishnamsettyA Norman or Laudani!You even might catch a Shrev(i)e from the movie Diner,A Redler and an ArmsTwo superb technical scribers!

"Any kind! Any shape! Any color or size!You might catch some winners that would open your eyes!I won't be surprised if a Lien appears!Complete with a collar and long floppy ears!Whoofing along! And perhaps we might chaseA whole lot of right straight to this place!

"You might catch a Price -- yeah that Price is usually right (!)Or an 'I Got The' BalasWith a precision-like tail!You might get hot with a 'Burn Baby' ByrneWho makes portfolios sail!You might catch some Ironfire's Eric (not Bo!) JacksonWho's a high-stepping winner.You might catch a Danny, that's Red Sox fan and Stone's new dad, my editor!

"You might catch a Gad (Zooks!)With that incredible penFor producing the modelsThat winners portend.You might catch a sensible GayedAn Arnold or a LangOr even a Collins (not Phil but a Tim!)Who is really sporty!

"You might catch a Morrow, a Moreno or a MelvinNow mightn't you, now!?!You might catch a StalterWhose ideas pay for my chow.Some fish from London.Like Real Money -- so hot,Might decide to sign up!Well they might, might they not?

"Or racing up north for a chance to get right,Full steam ahead for Jim Cramer's siteSome lucrative winnersLike my fav, 'The Divine Ms. M.'From beyond Hudson BayMight decide to swim down,Might be headed Jim's way! It's a pretty long trip,But they might, and they may.

"You might catch a Versace (not the designer, it's Chris!)A Graff or a Jackson

"Or even travel 'Downtown' with Josh BrownWell, you might. It depends.A long-twisting CNBC-chatting FitzpatrickWith a lot of strange bendsAnd, oddly enough,With a pen on both ends!

"One doesn't catch this kind of winner as a rule,But the chances are fine in Jim Cramer's pool!

"You might find a Ponsi 'Scheme'An observer with muscle,Might grab at your bait,Then would you have a tussle!

"To land one so valuable might take two or three hours,But the next might be easy,Like Melvin, who likes flowersOr you might catch a winnerFrom a stranger place yet!Like Graff, from the world's highest river,In far-off Tibet.

"You might catch a KatzAnd a biggie named DickerBoth spouting their spoutsAnd all earning a bounty.

"You'll probably catch many more writersLike Schiller and Peltier

And, oh by the way,Did I mention an 'Ask Noah?'

"Then you'll stop for the day'Cause there's nothing that's biggerThan Jim's site, so they say.

"Still, of course, it might beThat there is something bigger!Someone like Rev SharkA Thing-A-Ma-Jigger!Rev's a technician so big, if you know what I mean,That he makes a whale look like a tiny sardine!

"Oh, the site is full of a number of oldies,Like Woodard, Williams and Malandrino,Schwartz, Smith and ShoveAnd Hughes and Maragioglio.If a subscriber is patient,He might get many more winners!

"And that's why I thinkThat we all get really brightAs we sit here and readOn Jim Cramer's site!"

At the time of publication, Kass had no positions in stocks mentioned.

Doug Kass is the president of Seabreeze Partners Management Inc. Under no circumstances does this information represent a recommendation to buy, sell or hold any security.

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