Everything in This 2013 Stock-Market-Prediction Article Will Come True

NEW YORK ( TheStreet) -- I'm not messing around this year.

You'll see a ton of these 2013-prediction articles. Like me, you'll read every one. Like me, you'll hate every one. In fact, I hate myself for even writing this.

Even though I want my 2013 prediction article to stand out, I will use the exact same format everybody else uses: Alternate between funny, serious and outlandish predictions, designed to confuse the reader so that, come the end of 2013, when you reference this list, I can pass off false predictions as parody and claim logic for the crazy one or two that hit.

Netflix ( NFLX):

Reed Hastings certainly does not learn from history.

Incredibly, the smoke and mirrors are back at Netflix, baby! I'm sort of happy. The return of an overconfident and delusional Hastings makes my job a heck of a lot more fun.

I want a hit or two of the stuff Netflix imports from Santa Cruz and passes off to people who uncritically believe the hype.

Watch the Netflix PR machine spin: Oscar award-winning producer thinks Netflix is the greatest investment in the world! And Netflix vows not to raise prices although it got fleeced by Disney ( DIS).

I know I predicted this in 2011 for 2012 and it hasn't happened yet, but it will happen this year. In fact, it pretty much has to: Netflix will raise cash ... again. There will be no choice, as I explain in that story.

Expect Hastings to sell the company's DVD division and/or go to Wall Street for cash as he did at the end of 2011. I'll give you 10-1 odds on a flip-flop and higher prices for Netflix subs. Long shots -- Netflix introduces new pricing schemes outside of the standard all-you-can-eat plan or opens its platform up to advertisers.

2013 Media-Related Prediction:

Business Insider's Henry Blodget fakes own death and hides out at Mark Cuban's house while his staff covers the "news" with headlines such as: You Won't Believe the Story of How Henry Blodget Was Murdered by SEC Informants in Cold Blood.

Intel ( INTC) and Facebook ( FB):

Intel breaches $15. Facebook runs past $50.

Two completely different businesses, yes, but incredibly instructive comparison cases. You have one firm living in denial and another more than willing to admit a mobile miss and not only move on, but completely transform the model in the process.

2013 Media-Related Prediction:

All Things D's Kara Swisher uncovers the truth behind the Blodget story. Minutes after Swisher breaks the news, Business Insider syndicates the story with the title: Check Out How This Tech Reporter Uncovered This Shocking Cover-Up.

Madison Square Garden ( MSG):

I expect consolidation in the media space in 2013 and more than a few partnerships as big media looks to maintain its hold on key programming, particularly sports.

If MSG doesn't get taken out by a big player, I will be shocked.

I put my money on Rupert Murdoch's News Corp ( NWSA) taking out MSG (that's the serious part) and moving to 100% control of the YES network as it sets the stage for a 2014-2015 purchase of the New York Baseball Yankees!

Apple ( AAPL):

Big-time AAPL bull and Piper Jaffray analyst Gene Munster vows to appear on CNBC every day, including holidays in 2013, answering every question from Carl Quintanilla with the prediction that the release of Apple TV is imminent. Some time in mid-March, Quintanilla falls asleep during a Munster interview and later reveals that Jim Cramer put him up to doing a Mike Francesa impersonation on-the-air.


That's all I got. Yes!

But, in all seriousness, no matter what you believe in, no matter what or how you celebrate, have a safe and happy holiday season and nothing but the best for 2013.

I'm living the dream working for TheStreet and want to thank everybody -- management, the folks I work closely with everyday, the entire staff, colleagues outside of TST, our competitors and, most of all, my family -- for their support and inspiration. I am grateful.

--Written by Rocco Pendola in Santa Monica, Calif.
Rocco Pendola is TheStreet's Director of Social Media. Pendola's daily contributions to TheStreet frequently appear on CNBC and at various top online properties, such as Forbes.