Two things are certain: death and taxidermy
Dead animals + Internet = profit.

Surf eBay, Amazon and Etsy and you'll find a wide range of stuffed and preserved critters placed in post-mortem poses for your enjoyment. Mooseheads, squirrels, birds and fish are common.

On Amazon, for example, you can buy a dead raccoon "rowing" a tiny canoe.

We spared you the heebie-jeebies by not including this $80 item on Etsy: a severed mouse head fashion accessory.

"This large, eye-catching hair-pin was inspired by the glamorous world of burlesque," the seller writes beneath a picture that had us imagining Stuart Little as a serial killer. "It features a white taxidermy mouse head sat atop a four-inch-long hairpin. The mouse head is placed on a row of real onyx beads, features a beaded 'necklace' finishing in a large satin bow on the rear, and surrounded by a fan of black feathers ... This unusual and glamorous piece is a definite one-of-a-kind and a real conversation starter. It is sure to add a unique twist to any hairstyle."

Also available, for $25, is the "Taxidermy Duckling Drunken Ducky Little Party Animal."

The "stuffed baby articulated duckling" is mounted on a wooden base, "surrounded by bottles with a cigarette in his mouth."

In a similar vein, "Quack the Ripper" poses a tiny duckling in a bowler hat, scalpel in hand, amid pools of "blood" and the severed duck parts of his victims.

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