The governments of the world ought to just buy futures. If the issues are bailouts, it would be cheaper for the government to bid up the futures -- it doesn't take much capital because of the ridiculous margin rules that allow very little money to move them up very big. Then it should urge those who need capital, which is just about every bank and life insurer, to take advantage of the lift. That would be easier than giving big checks to each one of them, which is what it seems to want to do.

What's amazing about this period is that the prudent banks raised capital in the open market, and the less prudent banks didn't take advantage of that window where they could sell because of the short ban.

Of course I'm thinking of Citigroup ( C) here, but there are a host of others that did nothing either.

Don't snicker at the futures buys. They work, as buyers can't resist the up-futures scenario, seize on the idea that this is the bottom, and rally around the market.

If the government were to buy futures it would allow the beleaguered hedge funds to dump stock, too. What a simple plan!

So simple that I bet people believe on a day like today that it is happening!

Random musings: Doug Kass has an important point about not selling into the futures. I get that, considering that we are down some 1,900 straight Dow points, but remember the fundamentals are just awful. ... U.S. Steel ( X) buys a ton of stock back north of $100, ouch! A reminder of the fatuous nature of simply saying "my stock is cheap," and also a recognition that a buyback might actually make sense here, or that the money could have made it so we have a really good dividend.

At the time of publication, Cramer had no positions in the stocks mentioned.

Jim Cramer is a director and co-founder of TheStreet.com. He contributes daily market commentary for TheStreet.com's sites and serves as an adviser to the company's CEO. Outside contributing columnists for TheStreet.com and RealMoney.com, including Cramer, may, from time to time, write about stocks in which they have a position. In such cases, appropriate disclosure is made. To see his personal portfolio and find out what trades Cramer will make before he makes them, sign up for Action Alerts PLUS. Watch Cramer on "Mad Money" weeknights on CNBC. To order Cramer's newest book -- "Jim Cramer's Stay Mad for Life: Get Rich, Stay Rich (Make Your Kids Even Richer)," click here. Click here to order "Mad Money: Watch TV, Get Rich," click here to order "Real Money: Sane Investing in an Insane World," click here to get "You Got Screwed!" and click here for Cramer's autobiography, "Confessions of a Street Addict." While he cannot provide personalized investment advice or recommendations, he appreciates your feedback and invites you to send comments by clicking here.

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