In case you ever wonder why The Business Press Maven is disdainful, dripping with scorn and bile, this morning might explain it. I woke up to the displeasure of two headlines on Intel ( INTC) that conveyed opposite things.And guess what? Both managed to be wrong. If someone can ever end my misery, I'd be much obliged. On Tuesday, the world's largest chipmaker reported its third-quarter earnings. Here's what we read from the Associated Press early this morning: " Intel expects profits to hold up in 4Q: Intel forecast of steady 4Q profits in uncertain economy helps buoy stock." Got that? Intel is apparently confident, in a perfectly steady-as-she-goes way that few others are, about the near-term future. Lest you think the headline pulled out a thread of the article that did not exist, the same notion is front and center in the article's lead: "Intel Corp. has provided some insight into the state of global PC demand, telling Wall Street that while technology spending may be slumping, the chip maker fully expects its profits to hold steady." Fully expects its profits to hold steady? Got that? And this has wider implications -- on the entire state of global PC demand! Break out the bubbly! Uh, not quite yet. Now make sure your wig is clipped to your head, because we're going to take a look at this morning's Wall Street Journal. Its headline read: " Intel Net Rises 12%, but Outlook Is Uncertain: Chip Giant Says It Is Unsure How Much the Financial Crisis Will Affect Demand for Technology Products." Perhaps one man's uncertainty is another man's steadiness. By the way, lest you think this headline pulled out a thread of the article that did not exist, the same notion is, again, front and center in the article's lead: "Intel Corp. posted a 12% jump in third-quarter profit and pointed to continued sales growth in the current period, but cautioned that the outlook for spending on technology products is uncertain."