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First off, The Business Press Maven is filing for an extension. I've spent several days reviewing Conde Nast's new business magazine, Portfolio. But I need a little bit more time to read through the thick and splashy tome to officially rule that it lacks a single actionable insight.

Several days deep into the search, it does not look promising. But I will, in service to my readers, courageously forge on.

Since I can't rightly give Portfolio the dreaded Business Press Maven "Back of the Hand" on the technicality that the solitary useful morsel might be buried on page 1,423, right between an advertisement that has a guy landing a jet he fractionally owns on a kid's soccer field, apparently without scattering the younguns, and what seems to be the middle of 14 articles on hedge funds, I will, as a backup, grant the BOTH to Fortune.

Did Fortune really take Dell ( DELL) founder and again-CEO Michael Dell's name in vain when writing about Jeffrey A. Citron's return to the CEO post he once held at Vonage ( VG)?

The Business Press Maven is always critical of storylines that mislead investors by drawing false parallels between something that happened this time and the last time something like this happened, whether it was just a few weeks ago or many months ago.

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