(Editor's note: To access some of these stories, registration or a subscription may be required. Please check the individual links for the site's policy.) In the grand scheme of things, it's not that the business media talk falsely about what is going on. It's just that they wouldn't recognize a historical pattern if it reared up and bit them in the rear. Granted, the historical pattern with Apple ( AAPL) can be a little confusing because the company tends to do two contradictory things. But since the business media seem thrown by this one-two combination, let The Business Press Maven explain. Ready to take some notes? Here goes: Apple is highly promotional and showy when it comes to unveiling new products. Got that down? Good, because now it's paradox time. When it comes to future earnings, Apple is modest to the point of purposeful understatement. Got that? Irresponsibly promotional. And overly responsible, deadpan restraint. Now let The Business Press Maven rest a moment. Pointing out such contradictions can take a lot out of a guy. I need a cold compress and a moment on my daybed. There. Thank you. Now I need to forge on so we can gain insight from this peculiar pattern. Just a week ago, The Business Press Maven was uncharacteristically smiley-faced when the business media actually earned their meager living by thinking for themselves when Steve Jobs conjured up P.T. Barnum and tried to sell the world on a pricey phone with poor battery life sold through a distribution system with which Apple is unfamiliar.