Editor's Note: Welcome to "Funny Money," a feature written by New York-based comedian Jeff Kreisler. Lest there be any confusion, please note that this column is a work of satire and intended for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy the weekend.After an 88-year wait, the curse is over! The Chicago White Sox won the World Series, and Alan Greenspan's replacement has been named! Unfortunately for the Greenspan family, Alan will soon be talking cryptically at home. "After careful deliberation, I have determined it prudent to raise the chance of passing the mashed potatoes by 0.25%" On Monday, President Bush chose Ben Bernanke to replace Greenspan as chairman of the Federal Reserve. There's concern that Bernanke won't be as savvy as Greenspan. Savvy? Alan Greenspan? Sly, clever or intelligent ... sure. But savvy? He was just setting monetary policy, people. He wasn't a secret agent dodging lasers, defusing missiles and drinking shaken martinis. Or was he? They did name a new James Bond, didn't they? Could it be? Nah... Bernanke once told the National Economists Club that the government could, but wouldn't, "print money and distribute it willy-nilly." The man used the phrase "willy-nilly" in a speech to economists! He's got my vote! ( What, we don't vote on this? When do we vote? Supreme Court? No? U.N. Ambassador? No? Secretary of State? No no no? American Idol? Yes! USA! USA!) Full disclosure: Ben Bernanke actually taught my Econ 101 class when I was a freshman at Princeton. No joke. I wish I could offer some insight, but I don't remember freshman year. No joke. Being drunk at 10 a.m. economics lectures may be why I've gotten to this point. No joke. Really. This is my life. No. Joke.