We at the Five Dumbest Things Research Lab like to think that nothing surprises us. Until, that is, we hear a story like the New York Stock Exchange's watermelon incident. The New York Post's Page Six column -- which, to its credit, never appears on page six of the paper -- reported Wednesday that an NYSE floor broker had sneaked the comedian Gallagher onto the floor of the exchange Tuesday. There, reported the Post, the performer with the signature watermelon-smashing shtick pulled "a large chunk of watermelon" from his pocket and smashed it over the head of "an unsuspecting victim," another floor broker. The mastermind behind the Gallagher prank, one Arthur Gross, was summarily fined $1,000, reported the Post. Now that's not something you see every day -- Gallagher smashing a watermelon over the head of a trader at the NYSE. Our curiosity piqued, we called up Gallagher to check whether this actually happened. As with so many other things reported in the New York Post, it did. Sort of. Yes, admits Gallagher -- who was in town doing publicity for a Saturday night show at Long Island's Westbury Music Fair -- he did smash watermelon onto the head of an NYSE floor broker, Peter Tuchman. But, says Gallagher, it was a tiny cube of rindless watermelon, not a large chunk. "It was small," says Gallagher, whom we at the lab tend to trust on the subject of watermelons. "It was the size of a business card," he says. After the impact, he says, "it almost totally disappeared." And contrary to the Post's account -- and the apparent impression of NYSE officials -- this was no premeditated prank engineered by Gross on an unsuspecting victim. Gallagher, who was in the neighborhood Tuesday to visit a securities lawyer, was invited onto the floor by a fan who happened to recognize him on the street.