Editor's note: On Friday, the SEC will Webcast an Investor Summit to solicit comments and questions from individual investors. As a reminder of why this moment is so important to the public, RealMoney columnist Jim Cramer offers his unique, insider's view of how things really work right now on Wall Street.

Jim Cramer's column runs exclusively on RealMoney.com; this is a special free look at his column. For a free trial subscription to RealMoney.com, click here.

Trying to figure out how disclosure should really be handled and why it is totally unrealistic to expect the prostitutes to reform themselves?

OK, let me give you the real dialogue -- that's right, the

real

dialogue -- that should be going on if we really wanted to know the truth.

First, the current:

Anchor:

Jim, thrilled to have you on the show talking about

WorldCom

(WCOM)

, but before we ask you any questions, we just want to know: Has your firm done any investment banking work for WorldCom?

Jim:

No.

OK, now in the real world:

Anchor:

Jim, thrilled to have you on the show talking about

WorldCom

(WCOM)

, but before we ask you any questions, we just want to know: Has your firm done any investment banking work for WorldCom?

Jim:

No siree, but my corporate finance guys are in there right now trying to get the big restructuring that they have to do. In fact, we have never done a dime's worth of business with them, but they have so many deals they need to do, so many spin-offs and asset sales, that I have to tell you I love WorldCom's prospects. In fact, I think the major mess-ups by their current bankers gives us a real opportunity to do some big-ticket work for this sorry son of a gun company.

Now back to fiction:

Anchor:

Are you paid at all by investment banking?

Jim:

I am paid by a compensation system determined by the head of research and I have no idea if investment banking has any input.

Now fact:

Anchor:

Are you paid at all by investment banking?

Jim:

What are you, some kind of moron? Research doesn't make any money. You think I am going to work for free? The more I whore myself for investment banking, the more money I make.

Fiction:

Anchor:

Do you own any stock in WorldCom?

Jim:

No.

Fact:

Anchor:

Do you own any stock in WorldCom?

Jim:

Do you take me for a stooge? Who gives a flying flip about my personal account? None of us cares about those. We get paid by corporate finance, and if I prostitute myself but good in front of you, my stooge, I will get a gigantic bonus at year-end for bringing in WorldCom because even if it goes under, it can still pay massive fees.

Fact meets fiction:

Anchor:

Thanks so much for that candid look at WorldCom.

If you think the real dialogue is anything different from that, I have taught you nothing, just nothing.

James J. Cramer is a director and co-founder of TheStreet.com. He contributes daily market commentary for TheStreet.com's sites and serves as an adviser to the company's CEO. Outside contributing columnists for TheStreet.com and RealMoney.com, including Cramer, may, from time to time, write about stocks in which they have a position. In such cases, appropriate disclosure is made.

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