NEW YORK (MainStreet) — If you want to get a raise, have sex. This is not speculation, I am not pandering. This is backed by raw, hard scientific data here. Want more money? Have more sex. This is a public service.
Dr. Nick Drydakis is a senior lecturer in economics of the Lord Ashcroft International Business School at Anglia Ruskin University in the U.K. and Research Fellow at the Institute for the Study of Labor in Germany. Put that on a business card. But Dr. Drydakis has done the research, and that's official enough for me.
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But here's the thing. To make a lot more money, you're going to have to have a lot more sex. So, let's dive into the data.
"The vast medical and psychological literature concludes that sexual activity is associated with good health and improved physical and mental capacities, psychological well-being and dietary habits," Drydakis says. "In addition, several studies suggest that mental health, personal happiness, satisfaction, self-esteem, conscientiousness, cognitive functioning and reasoning ability are positively related to the frequency of sexual activity."
Are you getting this, because I think he lost me. I must be cognitively impaired for some reason. But hang in there, the juicy stuff is coming.
The good doctor continues: "Since good health, mental health and well-being are closely related to the economist's notion of productive output, and these characteristic are correlated with sexual activity, we may expect/hypothesize that sexual activity is also a well-being indicator related to higher wages."
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Drydakis cites a 2004 U.S. study by Blanchflower and Oswald that concludes: the more sex a person has, the happier the person is.
Who knew people had to research this stuff?
However, the authors also determined that increased income does not buy greater happiness, nor does it translate to more sex and sexual partners. Yeah, right.
But before I lose you altogether, let's get to the part where having more sex means you'll make more money.
All right, let's go to the board. Adult individuals have sex approximately once per week. O.K., who snickered? In general, there is a monotonic relationship between the frequency of sexual activity and wage returns.
The esteemed Drydakis says that "for both sexes we observe that an increase from sex weekly to sexual activity more than four times a week increases wages by 3.2%."
Let's underline and circle that. Those employees having sex more than four times a week receive statistically significant higher wages.
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And there's more: Men having no sex receive lower wages by 1.0%. And married men having no sex receive lower wages by 1.3%.
Time to turn on the smooth jazz, pop a cork and boost that bottom line.
--Written by Hal M. Bundrick for MainStreet