EDITOR'S NOTE: Let's assume the worst. On Jan. 1, we found ourselves in a new millennium and -- perhaps -- the last century. Our confused computers insist that Queen Victoria is alive and we aren't. Society for the most part has collapsed into chaos and savagery as our VCRs malfunction. Perhaps you were prepared for a new Dark Ages, and have a supply of weapons, candles and digestible in-laws. But are you really ready for Y2K? How would you have coped in the last Dark Ages or in 1900? Eugene Finerman,
Grand Inquisitor of trivia, challenges you to another of his fiendish quizzes. Take the test and see how you rank among history's great visionaries. After hitting the "Results" button to see how well your peers have done, be sure to check out Finerman's complete (and completely amusing) answers to the quiz questions.
Which of the following college teams might have competed in AD 1000?
Oxford Clerics vs. Bologna Skeptics
Constantinople Eunuchs vs. Cairo Jihad
Sorbonne Scholastics vs. Baghdad Imams
Rome Cardinals vs. Damascus Steelers
Assuming that you bet on the wrong team, your medieval bookie would prefer which of these forms of payment?
millet and hides
The English language has changed over the last millennium. Which of the following best describes the sound of English in AD 1000?
a Scotsman gargling
a summer stock production of
The Student Prince
high school Latin in Minnesota
French without the sneer
If our computers insist that it is 1900, we could learn to adjust. For instance,
could simply sign checks and legislation with the name of the vice president in 1900. Who would that be?
The original Adlai Stevenson
The immortal Garret Hobart
The fidgeting Teddy Roosevelt
No one in particular
Stupefied by Y2K, the FBI might issue "wanted" posters from 1900. In that year, which of these reprobates was just expelled from a seminary?
Your stockbroker offers you a "new" list of touted stocks. It actually is the
Dow Jones Industrial Average
of 1900. Which names would be on
American Sugar Refining
Don't forget to check out the complete
answers to the quiz questions!
Eugene Finerman is a humorist, speechwriter and founder of the Byzantine Antidefamation League. In keeping with TSC policy, Eugene does not have any REITs in Constantinople. Please tell us
what you think of his inspired rantings.