Y2 Chaos Quiz

Quizmaster Eugene Finerman tries to stump readers with some tough millennial trivia.
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EDITOR'S NOTE: Let's assume the worst. On Jan. 1, we found ourselves in a new millennium and -- perhaps -- the last century. Our confused computers insist that Queen Victoria is alive and we aren't. Society for the most part has collapsed into chaos and savagery as our VCRs malfunction. Perhaps you were prepared for a new Dark Ages, and have a supply of weapons, candles and digestible in-laws. But are you really ready for Y2K? How would you have coped in the last Dark Ages or in 1900? Eugene Finerman,

TSC's

Grand Inquisitor of trivia, challenges you to another of his fiendish quizzes. Take the test and see how you rank among history's great visionaries. After hitting the "Results" button to see how well your peers have done, be sure to check out Finerman's complete (and completely amusing) answers to the quiz questions.

Which of the following college teams might have competed in AD 1000?

Oxford Clerics vs. Bologna Skeptics

Constantinople Eunuchs vs. Cairo Jihad

Sorbonne Scholastics vs. Baghdad Imams

Rome Cardinals vs. Damascus Steelers

Assuming that you bet on the wrong team, your medieval bookie would prefer which of these forms of payment?

millet and hides

silver marks

serfs

Byzantine nomisma

The English language has changed over the last millennium. Which of the following best describes the sound of English in AD 1000?

a Scotsman gargling

a summer stock production of

The Student Prince

high school Latin in Minnesota

French without the sneer

If our computers insist that it is 1900, we could learn to adjust. For instance,

Al Gore

could simply sign checks and legislation with the name of the vice president in 1900. Who would that be?

The original Adlai Stevenson

The immortal Garret Hobart

The fidgeting Teddy Roosevelt

No one in particular

Stupefied by Y2K, the FBI might issue "wanted" posters from 1900. In that year, which of these reprobates was just expelled from a seminary?

Al Capone

Joseph Stalin

Benito Mussolini

Joseph Kennedy

Your stockbroker offers you a "new" list of touted stocks. It actually is the

Dow Jones Industrial Average

of 1900. Which names would be on

this

Red-Hot list?

Duryea Motors

Du Pont

American Sugar Refining

U.S. Steel

Don't forget to check out the complete

answers to the quiz questions!

Eugene Finerman is a humorist, speechwriter and founder of the Byzantine Antidefamation League. In keeping with TSC policy, Eugene does not have any REITs in Constantinople. Please tell us

what you think of his inspired rantings.