I just sold my

Merrill Lynch

(MER)

. I didn't want to, but some wire service just reported that Dan Dorfman hears

Bank of America

(BAC) - Get Bank of America Corp Report

is going to buy Merrill.

Last time, this guy said

Chase

(CMB)

was going to buy Merrill. And then it was

TheStreet Recommends

Cabletron

(CS) - Get Credit Suisse Group AG Sponsored ADR Report

was going to get a bid from

Siemens

. Both stocks tanked when the rumors fizzled.

And I thought we were done with the bogus rumor-mongering that ruined the previous generation's stock sanity!

Let me give you the biggest and best tip you will ever get from

TheStreet.com

: If a bald man comes to you and tells you that XYZ Corp. is about to get a bid, don't believe him. Sell XYZ. Sell it before the bald man's friends do. Because that's what this game is all about.

There -- no discrimination. I am bald, too.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund was long Cabletron. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

jjcletters@thestreet.com.