You want to know what the average 27-year-old portfolio manager is doing right now?

Cramer's Latest: Join the discussion on

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Message Boards.

Do you think he is sweating

Philip Morris

(MO) - Get Report

as potential for a pre-emptive bankruptcy case? Do you think that he is bemoaning that he didn't sell his

IBM

(IBM) - Get Report

? Do you think he is licking his Y2K wounds? Nah, he's buying the

Red Hots. The index, which I now have on my

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portfolio tracker, is up 3% as I write, with only two stocks down and I hesitate to point them out because they were just up a second ago.

Once again we are seeing that amazing -- at least to this 44-year-old who thinks he knows something because he doesn't confuse

Cisco

(CSCO) - Get Report

with

Sysco

(SYY) - Get Report

-- phenomenon where the shorts pile on the high-multiple techs when old hardware blows up and then the 27-year-olds ride in and torture us old guys with vicious takes of their favorite names.

These stocks correlate only with youth. They make me very angry because I still need an edge before I buy something and I can't find one with

Brocade

(BRCD)

up 60 points or

Juniper

(JNPR) - Get Report

up 50.

My loss.

Had to share this angst with someone.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund was long Conexant, Redback Networks, Qualcomm, Verisign, Exodus Communications, Cisco and IBM calls. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

jjcletters@thestreet.com.