Dear Santa,

I know you're busy with everybody else in the world, but here's my list. I've been good, by the way. In fact, compared with previous years, my goodness quotient is up triple digits. So cough it up, please.

  • Ford Flex
  • Apple 13-inch MacBook Pro
  • Small, vintage Marshall amplifier
  • Continuing amusement from AIG bonus situation
  • Coal in the stockings of security analysts who undervalued our stock, hedge fund managers who shorted it and everybody else who pissed me off on Wall Street this year. Actually, forget the coal. Have you got any dead fish around?
  • Cheese/Beef log (for discussion purposes only)
  • Nikon D3x digital camera
  • A new husband for my ex-wife
  • Peace on Earth
  • Goodwill toward everybody
  • Everybody off Tiger Woods' back for a while.

Merry nondenominational, deracinated holiday of your choice, everybody.

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