Wanted: Cliche-Free Coverage

Cramer's getting tired of the media's attempts at Shakespearean drama with their coverage of earnings warnings.

Author:: Jim Cramer
Publish date:: Mar 10, 1999 1:39 PM EST

I don't know about you, but I am getting sick of some of the same themes of this market. Take this

Intel

to-preannounce-or-not-to-preannounce drama. Yesterday the Hamlet of semiconductors was supposed to preannounce, and it got hit. Today it didn't, so it goes up. This soliloquy could go on until the end of the quarter. Or how about the

Alcoa

(AA) - Get Report

to-preannounce-or-not-to-preannounce tension. (This one I am long, so I have a stake in it.) How many times will we have to go through that short-and-cover charade?

This morning we had the old "new language in the

Cisco

(CSCO) - Get Report

10-Q" nonstory about cautionary language in the Cisco quarterly statement -- a statement that reads like it always does, but the news still managed to knock things down. (Another one I have a stake in.)

And, not to be outdone, there is the

Lycos

(LCOS)

CMGI

(CMGI)

soap opera, where Bob Davis of Lycos has been bragging about "outbargaining" Barry Diller. I figure Davis' next move may be to announce something negative to get the stock back to where it belongs. This rise must be killing him and worrying the heck out of Diller, who thought the Net had no clothes.

We need new themes. Even as I write this, I have to hear

CNBC

talking about the PC nonstory story. Ugh. No wonder I keep on harping on the banks. At least they lack the cliches of this other stuff.

Random musings:

Hats off to

Helene Meisler

for this terrific

Daily Chartist, which I love. ... Sold a small amount of some of these QQQs, the

Nasdaq 100

tracking stock, short as a hedge to my Nasdaq positions. They trade like water, and I am down a quick half-point. I did it in part because whenever there is a new security like this, I like to get a handle on how it trades. I did the same to

Dow Jones'

Dow Jones calls, but they had no "juice," meaning they never moved and were thus a terrible way to try to get leverage. No real feel on the QQQs yet, but I do admire the liquidity vs. the NDX. ... Holy cow!

Dell

(DELL) - Get Report

has lost volatility since the split (or the Ashok Kumar downgrade). Puts and calls are downright reasonable in price!

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. At the time of publication, his fund was long Alcoa and Cisco and had a short position in the Nasdaq 100 tracking stock, though positions may change at any time. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending a letter to TheStreet.com.