Fool me 4,823 times and I'll eventually figure it out.
Those overheated openings catch more fish than a cloud of chum off Block Island in early September. And that's saying something. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, you can't make money on those up-3 openings. Today was one of the 99.
Now we settle in and we can pick and choose -- if we even want to. That's the problem with being gaffed: It tends to give you a headache. It tends to make you not want to bite on that hook again. It tends to leave a scar.
So what happens now? I don't know. I paper-traded a short of
-- yes, pathetic, a professional who hasn't the guts to short for real -- at 135 today, and so far it's my best trade of the day. But why play when it's too crazed?
To mix my metaphors still one more time, I've got the bat on my shoulder. I will take a swing when I get one of those
pitches right down the middle. Right now, too much knuckleball stuff and too many floaters. Heck, they even pitched that Brazilian default to get things really heavy.
Remember, you aren't being paid to swing. You are being paid to make money.
James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending an email to email@example.com.