Venturesome Proposals

Cramer makes a few dot-com business pitches.
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Future business models for venture capitalists:

You Make the Phone Call.com

Every time you make a phone call, we'll pay you 25 cents. If you stay on the line for a half-hour or more, we'll pay you $1. We will figure out how to monetize the business once we get everyone to use us. (Market cap potential: $8 billion)

National Gift Wrap and Mall.com

A sister site to

Amazon.com

(AMZN) - Get Report

-- which I had to sell because I couldn't take the promotion -- where we'll pay you to buy the merchandise and you'll rebate the sales tax. We will monetize after we put

Wal-Mart

(WMT) - Get Report

out of business. (Market cap potential: $22 billion)

National Gift Wrap and Ticket.com

We'll pay you to take the trip, and we'll pay all of your expenses. You'll do nothing but take the trip. We will monetize after everyone signs up with us. (Market cap potential: $16 billion)

Media Incorporated.com

We'll compile every newspaper in the world into one, and we'll pay you $1 to read each issue. We'll monetize after we put every newspaper out of business. (Market cap potential: $4 billion -- slow growth biz)

You Make the Call on Insurance.com

You won't have to pay us until after you have the fire, theft, accident or death -- hoo-hah! You'll never pay if you don't have an incident that triggers the policy. To be monetized after all the other insurers go out of business. Be sure to show

Kleiner

. (Market cap potential: $10 billion)

Random musings:

The answer to buying things you like: selling them after they go up,

a la

Amazon.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

jjcletters@thestreet.com.