Valentine's Day Special: Where Love and Money Meet
Wall Street jargon can easily be applied to affairs of the heart. As you sort out your romantic status this weekend, keep these parallels in mind:
1. When he gives you flowers for no reason
Upside surprise
2. When he doesn't give you flowers or par value on Valentine's Day
Negative surprise
3. When he comes home late without calling
Failure to manage expectations
4. When he calls if he's going to be late
Giving good guidance
5. A so-so looking guy with a lot of other stuff going for him
Someone who outperforms his benchmark. Or: strong fundamentals
6. A great looking guy with jack going for him
Someone who underperforms his peers. Or: a highflier
7. A zesty relationship in its first few months
Momentum play
8. A long-term relationship you're going to "make work"
Value play
9. That great friend who just hasn't met the right person
Undiscovered
10. Marriage, for him
Resistance
11. Marriage for her
Breakout
12. Marrying rich
You buy it for the fundamentals. Any merger activity is an extra bonus.
Sure.
If you have any others,
away, with your full name, and we'll post them.
Reader Contributions
Wife refuses romance until she's satisfied with her Valentine's gift
Leverage
Romantic Valentine bed linen
Pink sheets
Wife calls office a couple of times to see whether you really had to work on Valentine's Day
Duplicate confirmation -- Jeff Jones
Figuring out she's high-maintenance
Downgrading based on price -- Andrew O'Neill
Figuring out you are significantly better off without him
Technical downgrade
A singles Valentine's Day party
Bull market
Wedding ring bought with stock sale proceeds
Diamond on the Dow -- Heide Fowler
Seeing an attractive women on the other side of the bar
Initiating coverage on a head and shoulders recognition -- Tim Green
Divorce lawyers
Limited partnership experts
Escort services
Direct investments
Alimony payments (for her)
In-the-money options
Alimony payments (from him)
Out-of-the-money options
Debutante ball
Initial public offering
-- Robert Fratkin
When he takes you to McDonald's instead of Tavern on the Green
He bought you an odd-lot
-- Todd Campanella
Men who spend Valentine's alone.
Will probably participate in a short squeeze.
Women who spend Valentine's alone.
Need to look for a turnaround play and forget about the breakouts
-- Doug Kyro
Divorced mother
looking for support
Young girl marrying old guy
yield to maturity
-- Joe Cayton
When he buys you flowers, candy and dinner because he feels guilty about an affair he's having...
Infidelity Investments
-- Jeff Jones
