Wall Street jargon can easily be applied to affairs of the heart. As you sort out your romantic status this weekend, keep these parallels in mind:
1. When he gives you flowers for no reason
2. When he doesn't give you flowers or par value on Valentine's Day
3. When he comes home late without calling
Failure to manage expectations
4. When he calls if he's going to be late
Giving good guidance
5. A so-so looking guy with a lot of other stuff going for him
Someone who outperforms his benchmark. Or: strong fundamentals
6. A great looking guy with jack going for him
Someone who underperforms his peers. Or: a highflier
7. A zesty relationship in its first few months
8. A long-term relationship you're going to "make work"
9. That great friend who just hasn't met the right person
10. Marriage, for him
11. Marriage for her
12. Marrying rich
You buy it for the fundamentals. Any merger activity is an extra bonus.
If you have any others,
away, with your full name, and we'll post them.
Wife refuses romance until she's satisfied with her Valentine's gift
Romantic Valentine bed linen
Wife calls office a couple of times to see whether you really had to work on Valentine's Day
Duplicate confirmation -- Jeff Jones
Figuring out she's high-maintenance
Downgrading based on price -- Andrew O'Neill
Figuring out you are significantly better off without him
A singles Valentine's Day party
Wedding ring bought with stock sale proceeds
Diamond on the Dow -- Heide Fowler
Seeing an attractive women on the other side of the bar
Initiating coverage on a head and shoulders recognition -- Tim Green
Limited partnership experts
Alimony payments (for her)
Alimony payments (from him)
Initial public offering
-- Robert Fratkin
When he takes you to McDonald's instead of Tavern on the Green
He bought you an odd-lot
-- Todd Campanella
Men who spend Valentine's alone.
Will probably participate in a short squeeze.
Women who spend Valentine's alone.
Need to look for a turnaround play and forget about the breakouts
-- Doug Kyro
looking for support
Young girl marrying old guy
yield to maturity
-- Joe Cayton
When he buys you flowers, candy and dinner because he feels guilty about an affair he's having...
-- Jeff Jones