Ready for something funny? Well, don't groan, because it's not from the fertile mind of GBS. No, this link was sent to me by the fertile mind of loyal reader Mark G. L. Ferguson.

Now, if you go there, read

it over, and don't get at least a few guffaws, then I urge you to take some time off, see a doctor, and get some humor injections. You'll be doing all of us a favor!

Of course, you could just read this column, as every so often there's something to laugh about. And sometimes the funny stuff isn't even confined to my woeful chart reading!

Funny or not, send me your questions at

technicalforum@thestreet.com. I'll be the one with the white suit and arrow through my head.

Oh, but first a question to you all, submitted by Harry Kumar:

Gary: What I would like to find out is do you know any brokers who use the technical analysis/charting methods that you use? Name and telephone number would be very helpful. Harry Kumar

Brokers, feel free to weigh in! And now, on with the show...

The Drop Stops Here

Gary: What is your take on Cobalt Networks (COBT) ? Is it going to go down continuously? I suffered a big loss from its stock. Yiqing Liang

Bullish Breakout

Gary: What's the new take on JDS Uniphase (JDSU) following the recent move up? By the way, do you ever get in a pool (at home maybe) and do some inspirational workout to show your daughters, or do you just torture the poor kids from the sidelines eternally? Gerard Pallares

Gerard, I'll get to JDS Uniphase in a second. Regarding swimming, once it gets a bit warmer, I do swim about three times a week. In fact, in our family I am the 25-foot -- not yards! -- freestyle champion (due mainly to my most excellent start and the fact that I am at least a foot taller than my girls!).

In the Chips

Gary: Micron Technology (MU) - Get Report has been spectacular this year; so has Advanced Micro Devices (AMD) - Get Report. They both weathered the "down period" and are substantially up for the year. In fact, both have broken out recently. I hope you're long; I have been for the long and short term. How about some charts and analysis? Michael Sullivan

Beware The V

Gary: I'm fairly new to TSC but have been lurking around your charts since becoming a member. I've also enjoyed hearing about your girls' progress in the swim competitions (I was once a swimmer myself). Do you think you could take a look at the charts for Analog Devices (ADI) - Get Report? I'm interested, but wonder if I've waited too long. Pam Woodley

Looking for the Short

Gary: What is your take on Agilent Technologies (A) - Get Report? Is it time to jump in? JFP

Low Risk

Gary: I just wanted to revisit a comment you made on May 25, 2000, about Microsoft (MSFT) - Get Report. I, too, agree, despite many who have thrown in the towel (including TSC's very own JJC) that Microsoft could be the one stock to own over the next 10 years. With respect to where it stands now, though, you mentioned that it is below its long-term trend line. I don't want to split hairs here, but upon looking at a five-year weekly chart, it appeared to me that it is currently residing precariously above its trend line, which I place in the high 50s. Still down, but maybe not out. Given either interpretation, where/when would you consider entering the stock? Timothy Spurlin

Watch

Gary B. Smith

and Silicon Valley columnist

Adam Lashinsky

face off at the first

RealMoney

conference, live in New York, June 28. The challenge: technical analysis vs. fundamental research.

Says Gary:

"Technical Analysis rules, especially when my adversary is the pitiful Adam Lashinsky. Don't believe me? Then come watch me square off with him." -- Gary B. Smith

Says Adam:

"Because I research *facts* about companies, I almost never agree with Gary B., who practices a form of voodoo called technical analysis. But when we get into the ring together, innocent bystanders generally enjoy themselves." --Adam Lashinsky

Surviving and Profiting in Treacherous Markets

June 28, 2000, Marriott World Trade Center, New York City.

For information and registration, go to

RealMoney Conferences.

Gary B. Smith is a freelance writer who trades for his own account from his Maryland home using technical analysis. At time of publication, he held no positions in any securities mentioned in this column, although holdings can change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Smith writes five technical analysis columns for TheStreet.com each week, including Technician's Take, Charted Territory and TSC Technical Forum. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he welcomes your feedback at

gbsmith@attglobal.net.