The Subject Line Is Real

When banks are paying you to open an account, it isn't surprising that few investors are interested in their shares.
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"JJCramer, here's $20."

"Yeppers, the Subject Line is Real." So went the email message I got this morning from

First Western National Bank

in La Jara, Colorado. A bank will put $20 in my account if I just open one. That's better than

iWon.com

!

At the same moment

PNC Bank

(PNC) - Get Report

announced a 10 million-share buyback. It's not ironic that the stock crept up only three-teenies on the news.

When banks are paying you to open an account, and paying in cash, not toasters, someone is going to take them up on it.

I keep thinking what will happen when

Yahoo!

(YHOO)

decides to do it. Yahoo! Finance as your home page and bank book! You can find out how much you're worth in stocks and checking.

That's a powerful combination that'll make the

Bank Index

look like a moonscape.

Random musings:

Coke

(KO) - Get Report

raises its dividend? Oh, come on. That shows me how unimportant dividends have become to the process. That dividend boost may be a further sign that Coke doesn't know how rough things are.

Xcelera

(XLA)

gets halted because

Gilder

gives it a nod. Pity the specialist.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund was long Yahoo!. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

jjcletters@thestreet.com.