The Five Dumbest Things on Wall Street This Week

The answers to our quiz!
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The first quarter is in the books, so it's time to review Wall Street's wacky ways in The Five Dumbest Things First-Quarter Quiz.

More than 40 people entered our contest and a dozen answered every question correctly. A drawing named our three winners: Bob Moscardini, Vincent Dantone and Rick Gouvan. Each gets a signed copy of Jim Cramer's

RealMoney: Sane Investing in an Insane World

. Congratulations to our winners, and thanks to everyone for playing.

Now, here are the answers.

1. France's

Alcatel

(ALA)

and New Jersey's

Lucent

(LU)

are

discussing a merger that would put Lucent chief Pat Russo at the helm of a new communications-equipment giant. Which statement

doesn't

describe a Russo career milestone?

    In August 2000 she left Lucent as president of its service provider business, just as the wheels were coming off.

    In the spring of 2001 she took the chief operating officer post at Kodak , saying, "Images generate commerce, especially in the digital economy."

    In January 2002 she scored a $40 million payday for returning as Lucent's CEO.

    Early last year she pushed through a bylaw clamping down on executive pay.

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    2.

    Apple

    (AAPL) - Get Report

    recently rolled out a software patch allowing U.S. users to limit the volume on some iPods. Which music industry giant recently used his blog to bash headphones?

      The Beatles' Paul McCartney

      The Who's Pete Townshend

      New Jersey's own Bruce Springsteen

      Wall of Voodoo frontman Stanard Q. Ridgway

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      3. Match the restatement-happy company with the appropriate executive commentary.

        Nortel CEO Mike Zafirovski

        General Motors finance chief Fritz Henderson

        Fannie Mae CEO Daniel Mudd

        H&R Block chief Mark Ernst

          "We have been humbled, even embarrassed. But we have begun to make significant changes."

          "We continue to take those actions that we believe will optimize the profitability of our business going forward."

          "This revenue is real -- it was recognized in the wrong periods."

          "Whenever a company has to correct for accounting errors, it can potentially tarnish the organization's reputation."

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          4. How did

          Sirius

          (SIRI) - Get Report

          shock jock Howard Stern respond to a breach-of-contract lawsuit filed in February by former employer

          CBS

          (CBS) - Get Report

          ?

            He held a press conference to call the suit a "personal vendetta" on the part of CBS chief Les Moonves.

            He wore a T-shirt that said "I Hate Les Moonves" on CBS' Late Show with David Letterman.

            He advised NBC newscaster Katie Couric to "watch your butt" in an interview with USA Today.

            A and C.

            All of the above.

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            5.

            Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia

            (MSO)

            founder Martha Stewart grabbed headlines last month with which antics?

              She shut down a lucrative partnership with KB Home , saying she wouldn't set foot in North Carolina.

              She rolled out the eagerly awaited Martha's Choices line of home-confinement accessories.

              She revealed that Donald Trump declined to be fired on national television.

              She mutely chopped cabbage in the thrilling premiere of Conversations With Michael Eisner.

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              6. Optical-component stocks lit up Wall Street in the first quarter.

              Avanex

              (AVNX)

              ,

              Bookham

              (BKHM)

              ,

              Finisar

              (FNSR) - Get Report

              and

              JDSU

              (JDSU)

              each rose at least 50%. Match each company with a key development.

                Avanex

                Bookham

                Finisar

                JDSU

                  Created in a 1990s acquisition spree by a beret-wearing physicist who was educated in Prague and Edmonton.

                  In 2003, Corning and Alcatel paid this company to take on their money-losing optical-component businesses.

                  Was founded some two decades ago in the U.K. before moving its headquarters to San Jose, Calif., in September 2004.

                  Recently introduced a product called the Bus Doctor.

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                  7.

                  XM Satellite

                  (XMSR)

                  director Jack Roberts left the pay-radio broadcaster's board in February. Why did he quit?

                    He fears XM's costs are out of control.

                    He contends XM hasn't been aggressive enough in spending on promotions.

                    He felt hurt when Sirius signed Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson.

                    He believes XM spokesman Derek Jeter hits better in the No. 2 hole.

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                    8. Match the

                    Google

                    (GOOG) - Get Report

                    honcho with his comment.

                      Finance chief George Reyes

                      Co-founder Sergey Brin

                      CEO Eric Schmidt

                      Philanthropy chief Larry Brilliant

                        "It's very hard to find another company that starts out on a conscious path to do good and not do evil."

                        "At the end of the day, growth will slow."

                        "We want to be able to store everybody's information all the time."

                        "We hope that the contributions of Google.org may someday exceed those of Google itself in terms of overall world impact."

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                        9.

                        RadioShack

                        (RSH)

                        CEO David Edmondson resigned in February, a week after

                        The Fort-Worth Star-Telegram

                        questioned his claim to two college degrees. The school's registrar said Edmondson completed only two semesters of coursework. How did Edmondson respond?

                          "I feel terrible about it."

                          "Looking at what the Web site says is not my highest priority."

                          "If I were going to make stuff up, I probably would have found something a little more impressive to make up."

                          "I speak for the board; there is no comment."

                          B and C.

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                          Click for the answer!

                          10. In January,

                          Verizon

                          (VZ) - Get Report

                          completed its acquisition of

                          MCI

                          , the business telco formed from the rubble of

                          WorldCom

                          . What was MCI's last act as a public company?

                            It paid Cablevision's founders a $3 billion dividend.

                            It restated earnings from the first three quarters of 2005 to reduce reported profits by $52 million.

                            It mailed out thousands of fliers depicting convicted WorldCom founder Bernie Ebbers using the prison phone.

                            It redid its corporate theme song to replace MCI with the far catchier "Verizon Business."

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                            Click for the answer!

                            To view Colin Barr's proctoring of a sample question from this week's quiz, click here

                            .

                            In our

                            award-winning effort to enrich the reader experience, the Five Dumbest Things Lab now scores each item using our proprietary Dumb-o-Meter. This cutting-edge technology employs a finely calibrated, 100-point scale measuring sheer Dumbness, as calculated via a closely guarded secret formula.

                            Got your own idea for the dumbest thing of the week?

                            Let us know.

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