Merger Monday. Highflying Internet stocks. The tech-heavy

Nasdaq

.

Why is it that sportswriters would rather kill their grandmothers than repeat tired cliches, but business writers think we are brain-dead and don't care?

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Is there someone somewhere, some central authority, that insists we must never try to vary or change the hackneyed script?

Now that stocks have become part of our culture, as ingrained as the sports scores, weather and trial of the day, it sure would be terrific if someone broomed these copy editors and brought in some

Lupicas

and

Defords

, people who understand that the job is to make it interesting -- even if it isn't.

Take Monday's rally: It was robust, all-encompassing and broad. Yet, when these editors simply slap on the same cliches as always, they take away from the contest. Every day seems identical.

So, you know what I am going to do? The same thing I would do at a newsroom if I saw this occur: Set up the kitty. I am going to fine people $1 every time I read or hear a cliche in business reporting.

You can help. Send me the

cliches you are sick of and the perpetrators of them. We'll get the tote board going. We will put an end to this soporific madness.

Copy editors, you've been warned. Stop boring us.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending a letter to TheStreet.com.