Return of the Living Net

While Internet stocks rise from the dead, Cramer marvels that the bears are still around.
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So 3COM (COMS) and IBM (IBM) - Get Report went up and those silly NDX buyers came in at 3:30 p.m. and the 2 p.m. sell hour turned benign and all is right with the world.

Tough day for the Bruins! Must have killed them when

CMG Information Services

(CMGI)

reinjected sanity (bears read: Insanity). They had the tulip bulbs planted and were about to douse the garden with

Miracle Grow

. Instead, the Net came back as if it were one of those unstoppable pods from

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

(the classic

Kevin McCarthy

version, not that bogus

Donald Sutherland

one). Hey, didn't that take place in the Valley? What a coincidence!

Now what happens to all of those big-name strategists who called for a journey to the center of the earth? Next stop, top soil! And how about those nameless hedge fund managers who kept saying the market is going to heck in a handbasket. Gotta send them some nasty e-mails.

Actually, I will tell you exactly what happens. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. What do you think this game is, the Not-For-Long

NFL

? In this business NFL stands for No Firings -- Lifetime. Everybody gets away with saying anything.

And one day the market will be down big and they will get trotted out again to say and whisper negative things and it will be painful and we will go lower again and then we will come back. One day the ethics and fairness of sports will infect the world of money and we will see analysts get sacked and noisy press conferences in which gurus field tough no-nonsense questions. Until then, the money world, for all of its massive importance to us, will lack the rigor of the sports world.

Go figure.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending an email to letters@thestreet.com.