Right about now every day,

Jeff Berkowitz

and I go over our nemeses. For us that means kicking ourselves. I think this part of the day might have driven my wife out of the business. She couldn't take it. But Jeff and I are masochists, so we keep up the terrible tradition.

So, I will let you listen in to the rantings of a couple of competitive hedge-fund madmen.

"Hey, stupid, why did you sell the

Texas Instruments

(TXN) - Get Report

?" Jeff asks.

"For the same reason you got panicked out of the

EMC

(EMC)

, moron," I retort. Now we are into the volley.

"Hey, great job blowing out of the

AMAT

(AMAT) - Get Report

when I love it." Nothing like leaving four big ones on the table." Nice passing shot, Jeff.

"Not as good as your super decision to load up the boat on

Oracle

(ORCL) - Get Report

ahead of the boring

Morgan Stanley

meeting," I smash back. No way he can return that one.

"At least I didn't go on TV and say I liked

Chase

(CMB)

and then watch it go down a buck, while the rest of the banks are doing fine."

Game, set, match. Berko.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund was long Chase Manhattan Bank. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

jjcletters@thestreet.com.