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Expiration day, and you know what that means: taking a few hours off intraday rather than speculate on which way expiration shakes out.

Every Friday since expiration became a big deal in the mid-'80s, we have had to put up with a steady stream of people trying to tell us which way expiration will go. Unfortunately for those souls, I have a good memory.

Nobody ever gets it right. It is as unpredictable as the first deal out of a six-deck shoe at blackjack.

Of course, everybody tries to figure it out. And the game gets played almost hourly today. At 2 p.m., we will hear one thing, and at 3 p.m., we will hear another. At 3:30 p.m., the game will switch again.

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I turn it off. I don't play. I only play if I can have an edge. And no one has an edge, except the fakers and mountebanks.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of At time of publication, his fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at