Expiration Friday in March. Talk about March Madness. On expiration Friday,


gets into the

Final Four

. Heck, on expiration Friday, Gonzaga wins.

It's always been like this. Budding spring day. Thaw well in progress. And the market seems poised to do something wacky and crazy, something animal-spirited and possessed. I wish I knew why this March expiration was always so hard to predict, why it has such a mind of its own. Everybody who has traded indices for the last 15 years knows this. We even joke about past March expirations and how out of control they have been. The propensity has been for a vicious upswing, one that makes people wish they had reached for that


call for a quarter that went out at five. But the time you bet that way, they take every penny and you are left with rip-ups, like those ones that litter the track after the ponies go around 10 times.

For me, I am going to keep my head down. When I was at

Goldman Sachs

on Friday expiration, I would wager a week's worth of commission dollars on the strike that the OEX would go out. I would sell puts and sell calls. I would hit up the OEX 4,000 times. I would act as if it I could control its direction when I hit it up. That it would dance up when I would punch O and E and X rapidly. That I could knock it down if I did it slowly.


This thing has a mind of its own. Which is why, like every other March expiration day, I am going to have a great big lunch of Chinese food and go down for a nap. I will let my partner,

Jeff Berkowitz

, wake me if we are plus or minus 100.

And I won't throw any money away betting on which raindrop hits the bottom of the window first. Because it is just that unpredictable.

Maybe you should do the same. Enjoy the beautiful day -- on the East Coast at least -- and don't get caught up in the great imponderables that will not allow you to make money.

Random musings:

In the past four days, I have seen four proposals to give away PCs and make up all the money in advertising. Someone better let the car, liquor, cosmetic, beverage and fast-food companies know this so they can get in on the opportunity! Hoo-hah! ... Bank deals abound this weekend? Why shouldn't it be like any other?

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending a letter to TheStreet.com.