Old media and new media hate each other. Let's get out of the closet on this stuff already.

Old media hates the fact that it is constrained by metrics like paid circ while new media doesn't even have circ! Old media can't stand the fact that its price-earnings multiples are shrinking while new media doesn't even have price-earnings multiples. Old media frets about the cost of newsprint. New media could give a darn about paper. If old media has a hot issue it sells out and no more can be made. New media never runs out, cause it's a Web site. Old media is glamorous, likes big expenses and power three-martini lunches and sucks up to advertisers. New media doesn't know from glamour, works hard, doesn't take lunch, doesn't drink and goes home to spend time with family.

So when

Lycos

(LCOS)

decided to merge with old media, this was Little Red Riding Hood getting tricked by someone who looked like grandma but was really that old media wolf in disguise. "My, what small multiples you have? All the better to eat you with!!!"

That's why when I read articles like the

Journal

piece I can't even stand to read about

Diller's

rap that Wetherell just wants

CMGI's

(CMGI)

stock higher. Wetherell believes in the Net, but he can't control CMGI's price. The market can. The market believes in Wetherell and does not believe in Davis/Diller. Maybe the market is wrong. Maybe the market doesn't know what it is doing. But from what I can see Lycos is everything that a Big Bad Wolf would want, and I sure hope it doesn't get it. Where the heck's the wood chopper when we need him?

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending an email to

letters@thestreet.com.