Humming a Favorite Simon and Garfunkel Tune

Sing along with JJC's partner as the canyons of Wall Street empty out.
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Hear that sound? It's the sound of

silence.

It's almost deafening here on Wall Street.

Nothing

happening. Only us working stiffs in the office today; many players are in the Hamptons, on Cape Cod, at the park -- anyplace but here. So it seems.

What to do? Can't clean my desk -- that would destroy the functional messiness. Make some company and analyst calls? Please. Might as well be a telemarketer, given the low expected response.

It is incredibly illiquid out there. Take a look at yesterday's action. We had a nice rally off the bottom due to a rumor that

Johnson Smick

, an economics outfit, predicted that the

Fed

wouldn't tighten next week. When it was reported that the firm actually assigned only a 25% probability to no action, we sold back off.

Today is options-expiration day. Thus we have an even greater likelihood of unpredictable swings. On days like today, we like to look for information whose impact may be muted by the poor attendance on the Street.

Cramer

calls it the

Bristol-Myers

(BMY) - Get Report

effect, named after a summer Friday several years ago on which Bristol's bad news went widely unnoticed until the stock got slammed Monday.

OK, what's the potential Bristol info? First and foremost, the articles in

The Wall Street Journal

and

John Berry's

Washington Post

article implied that a tightening is not a done deal.

Hmm, I am not smart enough to make the bet on what the Fed will do, but what that says to me is that the probability of a second rate rise is pretty low. Bullish. As I mentioned earlier, I'd much rather see a tightening and get it out of the way. Given the strong economic numbers we have seen, not as much angst on every bad number: A vigilant Fed is a good Fed.

What else? Though not that strong in the absolute, the

Media Metrix

numbers for the Internet were up slightly for July, defying some seasonal downtrends. If the interest-rate environment and the dollar/yen relationship stabilize, maybe this is an area to play with.

Otherwise, I'm not doing much. Fighting the eyes from glazing as the expiration imbalances go by on the screen.

Jeff Berkowitz is a partner in hedge fund Cramer Berkowitz with James J. Cramer, co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, the fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. The fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that the fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Berkowitz's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

jjcletters@thestreet.com.