Skip to main content

The sky is blue. The trees are green. The birdies is on the wing. And the majority of our banks have flunked their stress tests. Does that make them sad? Nope. Are we worried? Not at all. Because while they are stressed, they are not stressed as badly as we might have feared.

Two facts leap out. First, while 10 of 19 of our fiduciary institutions require some form of additional cash to keep from fainting, all they need, in aggregate, is a measly $75 billion.

Compared to the numbers we've been seeing lately in bailouts and fearful predictionary bloviage, why, that's a mere bag of shells! And it turns out they don't even want the money! "No thank you, Uncle Tim," they are saying. "We're gonna be OK after all." Can you imagine?

Best of all, it turns out that even if you take the very worst-case scenario, potential losses in this formerly fetid corner of our financial sector would reach only $599 billion. Not a T? Only a B? Ha! We sneeze at such numbers.

Scroll to Continue

TheStreet Recommends

Speaking of sneezing, it also turns out that we're all probably not going to die of swine flu, at least this week.

The fact is, there's just so much darned good news around that I think we should all open our hermetically sealed windows right now, lean out over whatever avenue we work on, and no, not jump, just breathe in that nice spring air, which appears to be not quite as badly loaded with toxic hydrocarbons as we had feared.

Who knows? We may have a panic gap here all of a sudden. What should we freak out about next, do you think?