Fed Funnies

Fed pronouncements cause these bond market hijinks.
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We are back in the netherworld of Fed governors and presidents popping off left and right about inflation and deflation. These pronouncements have the (desired?) effect of confusing everybody and making the jobs of those involved in the market about 10 times tougher. What I wouldn't do for a score card that says something like "Rivlin, Alice, bats inflationary, worries from the long side." Or "Meyer, Laurence, pulls down the deflationary line, favors gold standard."

Each time these people issue statements, we get a bond market that falls prey to the last word spoken. With my score-card approach, we would no longer be blindsided.

In the meantime, the schizophrenic market was split right down the middle, with 1,398 stocks indicating we are A-OK and 1,575 stocks indicating we are out of our mind to be long.

Push day. Just a total push. Better shoe lurks tomorrow.

Random musings:

You want a Y2K story? Yesterday we take our daughters to

Blockbuster

to get

Star Wars

for the 4 millionth time -- talk about something I should have bought already -- and some clown's on the radio talking about the need to hoard food because of Y2K. The kids get scared to death by this yahoo, who, of course, turns out to be a U.S. senator.

I run into Blockbuster, can't find the movie, takes about 10 minutes, and when I come out, the back of the car is filled with Krackel bars! The kids got so panicked that they bought what they thought they needed to live on in the event of a national shutdown.

Now I gotta get up in the middle of the night and show the girls that there is no Y2K in the closet! Enough already!

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending an email to letters@thestreet.com.