Things get pretty heated in hedge-fund land when you have a plus 235 day.
First of all, we're never as fully invested as the big up guys. Some of the unlucky guys even have shorts working on a day like Monday. It's the nature of the business. Being short on big up days is like flying a roaring hot jet in the neighborhood of a heat-seeking missile: You are targeted and explode upward at the worst possible moment. Not pretty. Because of all this, we hedge funds can't possibly keep up with the
and the Ultra Funds on days like Monday. Those guys must have parties after days like Monday.
As we hedge fund players all tend to value ourselves daily, if not intra-hourly, Monday took a huge toll on people in my extreme-investing corner, as the market kept climbing and climbing. At one point yesterday I found myself screaming at my partner,
, about how we missed this stock and that stock and how easy it all was.
," I said to him in our post-game wrap-up phone call on the way home. "Up five points, five easy $%#$% points. "How could we miss ^$#^#^%'n Newbridge. We suck. They were giving away money in Newbridge and we said no to it. How come we didn't have Newbridge. I want an answer??"
Jeff started in with a stuttering defense about how we did not know how NN was doing, how it was a part of a short squeeze, about how we can't judge ourselves day-to-day, about how that will just drive us crazy. "Jim, we have done no homework on Newbridge. How are we expected to have it, just because it is up five points?"
I considered what he said. I stayed silent for half a span on the
. I mulled over the sage-like words, the genuine homespun wisdom. And then I concluded "$%#$%#$%#in Newbridge, we shouldda had it anyway." And I rung off.
Today Newbridge preannounces bad numbers and the stock is dropping like a knife. Jeff is beaming when he sees it fly over the tape. He thinks it's vindication for missing the big five point move yesterday. No such luck.
"$#$%#^#'n Newbridge," I say to him when I see his pride in the miss.
"We shouldda been short the #$%#%#^'n thing."
He nods. He knows I'm right.
James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-chairman of TheStreet.com. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Mr. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he welcomes your feedback, emailed to