Buzz Gets Grilled

JJC chats up the fictional fund manager and asks him some tough questions.
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I caught Buzz just now in the elevator on the way up. He was staring outside it, thought maybe he was part of an A.B. Whatley ad or something. He had gone out for a quick butt. Me, I was just getting some Pepto. I had the recorder on so I captured it.

Cramer:

How did those

shorts turn out, Buzz?

Buzz:

Well, actually we had to cover those at the opening. And then we ramped them. You know, end-of-the-month and all. We are taking up a bunch of our larger positions between now and the end of the month if you want to tag along.

Cramer:

What kind of stocks?

Buzz:

The thin ones where we can still control the float. We are walking up

Art Technology Group

(ARTG)

and MUSE

(MUSE)

and we are trying to do

BroadVision

(BVSN) - Get Report

. Spreading a lot of takeover rumors to get them running. Why not?

IBM's

(IBM) - Get Report

on the prowl.

Cramer:

Do you know that IBM is on the prowl?

Buzz:

Oh man, Cramer, don't you know how the game is played? You pick some company that is a classy company that doesn't deign to comment on rumors. That way you don't even get the denial. Get hip, man.

Cramer:

I am not very hip. Hey, by the way, Buzz, I am not familiar with MUSE. What do they do? What is the name of the company -- "MUSE" is just the stock ticker right?

Buzz:

Oh man, give me a break. The stock was down big, it is time to take it back up.

Cramer:

I hear you, but what is their business?

Buzz:

B2B or B2C. You know, infrastructure. That's about as granular as I can get. MUSE stands for, well ... uh, I mean, let me ... Oops, here's my floor. See you at the Farmer's Market!

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

jjcletters@thestreet.com.