I wandered down the hall just to see how
and his sidekick
were handling the downturn. When I dropped in I heard the tail-end of this order:
: "Cancel, cancel, right now. Cancel it. Get me an out. I need an out. Are we cancelled? Please, please..."
: "Buzz, what's the matter? Afraid to buy something down here?
: "Nah, Cram-moo, I am trying to cancel my helicopter reservations to East Hampton this weekend. I am thinking of taking the train."
: "A bit of a come down, Buzz?"
: "Let's just say we aren't having as much fun as we used to."
(Barging in): "Buzz, I just went through all the checks in the morning mail. Only about $435,000 came in this weekend. Not so hot. I figure we put it all to work in the
, maybe try to prop them up with some out of the... Oh, Cramer, didn't see you, how you been?"
: "Fine, I just thought I would mosey over and see what's cooking."
: "Well why don't you mosey on back and mind your own bus..."
: "Now, now Batch. We don't want the press to know this is anything but business as usual. In fact, I am booking an appearance for Nose Picking Friday to tout some of our best names and we don't want to show any discord. Alas, Mr. Cramer, we will have to ask you to leave before we run down the portfolio. Ta ta!"
James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund had no positions in any stocks mentioned. His fund often buys and sells securities that are the subject of his columns, both before and after the columns are published, and the positions that his fund takes may change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at