Answers to the Revised <I>Millionaire</I> Quiz

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1.

Patriotism and good taste do not always coincide, but in this case the answer is

c

.

George Washington

was not a lecherous fop. The Duke of York (alias

James II

) was, although the number of his escapades and bastards wouldn't have set any records.

Louis XIV

, the namesake of Louisiana, was an impressive satyr. Once, he was riding in a coach with his wife and three mistresses; they all were pregnant. Carolinus is just a pompous way of saying

Charles II

; he had 18 children, and none were with his wife. Charles was known as the Merry Monarch.

2.

In Latin and its junior edition (Italian), all the words sound alike. No wonder

Dante

could rhyme anything. To our unsophisticated ears, however, it is difficult to distinguish between ante (before) and anti (against), or bellus (good looking) and bellum (war). If you can discern those guileful foreign distinctions, you'd know that Uncle Irving was not Italian and the correct answer is

d

.

3.

The answer is

c

--

Dartmouth

is the furthest north.

4.

The midway does not refer to the Middle West but to the fairgrounds of the 1893

Columbian Exposition

. That world's fair was in Chicago, and the correct answer (if inaccurate description) is

d

.

5.

Mrs. Wharton's

heft could never be attributed to bagels. An antimacassar, answer

c

, is the Episcopalian term for a furniture cover.

6.

In an inexplicable demonstration of intelligence, the 1939

Oscar

for best actor was given to a real actor instead of a star. Yet, who remembers

Robert Donat? We all remember

Clark Gable's Rhett Butler

. The answer is

c

.

7.

While Russian troops went to the front without rifles, the Imperial family ordered patriotic motifs for the

Faberge Easter Eggs

. The czar fell in 1917, a year before the

Great War

ended: answer

a

.

8.

Although a formula calibrating pressure and heat could pertain to the biological time clock and genetics,

Boyle

thought his law was about chemistry: answer

a

.

9.

Professor Robert Thurman of

Columbia University

named his daughter for a Buddhist chant: ooomm.

Uma

, answer

c

, is not an alias. The other actresses in reality are

Winona Horowitz

,

Susan Weaver

and

Susan Tomalin

.

10.

Forbidden Planet

, answer

c

, is the science fiction movie that

Shakespeare

would have written. It is based on

The Tempest

.

The Halfback of Notre Dame

is television's idea of a parody.

The Fugitive

is the lobotomized rendition of

Les Miserables

.

Rigoletto

is based on a

Hugo

story, and Hugo hated

Verdi's

version; everyone else prefers it.

11.

The young whippersnapper did: answer

a

.

Ella Fitzgerald

had the second highest total of four.

12.

Everyone hated

Alexander Hamilton

: answer

a

. That clause in the

Constitution

was

James Madison's

idea of an obscene gesture; it was written with Hamilton in mind. Hamilton was born in the West Indies.

13.

In 1912,

Jim Thorpe

won the Decathlon and the Pentathlon; however, he was subsequently stripped of his medals for having played professional baseball. This was the only

Olympics

in which he participated: answer

b

. The swimmer

Weissmuller

won medals in 1924 and 1928. The skater

Henie

won her first Olympic medal in 1928. Neither used their prizes to study acting.

Harold Abrahams

was not a character on

Seinfeld

, but a champion runner in 1924. He was the obnoxious one in

Chariots of Fire

.

14.

Cymbeline

, answer

b

, takes place in Britain; there is no other reason to care about the play.

As You Like It

occurs in the Forest of Arden, which every German general knows is in Belgium.

Twelfth Night

occurs in Illyria, which now is the far-less-romantic Albania.

The Winter's Tale

is famous for one of its locales: the sea coast of Bohemia?

15.

The Germans do love their

Wagner

, but singing "Die Gotterdammerung" would have made

Casablanca

last six hours. "Lili Marlene" is a romantic ballad, and

Maj. Strasser

was not trying to seduce

Ingrid Bergman

. "Deutschland Uber Alles" was, and is, the German national anthem; it has a dour, hymnal tone and would be inappropriate for 1940s karaoke. "Die Wacht am Rhein," answer

d

, is a chest-thumping bellow of hatred for France.

Scoring Key:

15 correct:

You should be the basis of a religion.

12-14 correct:

Feel free to be arrogant.

9-11 correct:

You might win two games on

Jeopardy!

6-8 correct:

Don't gloat; this is as well as

George W. Bush

would do.

0-5 correct:

I hope that you are good-looking because you need some reason for being in the gene pool.

Yes, it's him again. Eugene Finerman is a humorist, speechwriter and idiot savant. He can drone for hours on the historical inaccuracies in

Xena, Warrior Princess

. Please feel free to

comment on his charming lunacy.