All Together Now

The Net bone's connected to the PC bone, the PC bone's connected to the software bone ...
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So just how linked are we? How closely correlated are The Stocks Everyone Loves (TSEL)? Well, how about this bit of mindlessness: Jeff Berkowitz calls me from the Goldman Sachs conference, the lines are too long at the Bloomberg, I guess, and he says, hey, "Why is Cisco (CSCO) - Get Report rallying?"

"Cause

3Com's

(COMS)

bottomed," I respond.

OK, my turn. "Hey, why is

Nokia

(NOK.A)

up?" I ask.

"

Motorola

(MOT)

gave a good talk."

Serve Berkowitz: "Why are they taking

Dell

(DELL) - Get Report

?"

Return Cramer: "Cause

Morgan

squawked positively about

Intel

(INTC) - Get Report

."

Advantage Cramer: "Guess that positive

HWP

(HWP)

talk is moving

I-Beam

(IBM) - Get Report

, Dell and

EMC

(EMC)

."

Add Berkowitz: "Not as much as that good

MCI WorldCom

(WCOM)

quarter you listened to is moving

Lucent

(LU)

,

Tellabs

(TLAB)

and

Qwest

(QWST)

."

So, he sums up, "Cisco's moving, cause 3Com's moving, cause Nokia's moving cause Mot's moving, cause Hewlett's moving cause IBM, Dell and EMC are moving."

Game, set, match Berko. No one knows TSEL like Berko. Yeah, the problem with owning the same stocks as everybody else is that they all move together. Every one of these stocks was in free fall the other day because one of them was in free fall. Now that the Goldman conference has finally colored things correctly (remember my "when bad things happened to good stocks"

piece earlier in the week?), everything is retracing the way back.

I am sure by tomorrow afternoon we will be deluged with technicians, talking heads and portfolio wusses all of whom will be handwringing about how we may not get back to all-time highs and how overextended we are again. To which I say, tell me, did you even think we could get this far a few days ago?

(I spent a fair amount of time going over my blistering email responding to my buy-on-dips philosophy that got me some darned good prices vs. today's. My fave was the lunatic who criticized me for jumping in on Intel at $122 given how badly

Nasdaq

acted on Monday. He was yelling at me about what good was my Intel piece on Friday to readers who read it Monday afternoon, when the stock had advanced 10 points.

Well, I'll be. Isn't that a new one? We go spending millions on technology to get the product delivered to you on time, as opposed to the billions spent getting a newspaper to your driveway a day after you need it, and this guy wants to kill me because he read my Friday morning piece on Monday. This is a man who values his paper by how many fish he can wrap in it! Send him a roll of Abitibi's finest on me!)

My take: Enjoy it. The bears said it could not happen like this. The bears told us that the psycho-chain of tech was broken, shredded, filled with weak links like

Newbridge

(NN)

and

SCI

(SCI) - Get Report

and COMS.

To which I say, "Thanks for the Kodiak moment."

Random musings:

That bank stock move reminded me so much of the old days, when you had to short the banks going into a bond auction and then buy them with reckless abandon on the last day of the auction. Can't believe that prebudget surplus pattern is back. But it worked.

I like

CMG Information Services'

(CMGI)

attitude. Correctly sums up my attitude: It's a good deal if it makes us money, a bad deal if it loses us money. Where I'm from they call that horse sense, and I am glad that CMGI, unlike Bob Davis, has it.

More possible

Lycos

(LCOS)

merger candidates: How about the company that makes those scrolling panels that tells you what's on the tube that night? Or maybe those companies that stuff ad circulars in Sunday's fat papers?

Or a check-making company? Nah, way too high tech. Rotary phone makers? Linotype machine companies? Ahh, I've got it. The No. 1 merger candidate for Bob Davis is:

Western Union

!

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At the time of publication, the fund was long Hewlett-Packard, Intel, Dell, Cisco, EMC, Qwest and MCI WorldCom, although positions can change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column by sending an email to letters@thestreet.com.