A Green Oasis of Net in a Really Strange Day

This tape has gotten just too risky. What's wrong with this picture?
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Let me go hide in some CMGI (CMGI) ; this tape has gotten too risky. Ah, the irony! My screen is peppered with red, except for its green Net oasis. Today is truly a screwy day. Utilities down big, bonds up big? Gillette (G) - Get Report down 8; Sun (SUNW) - Get Report up 12? What's wrong with this picture?

Earlier today, I saw someone sell out-of-the-money

DOT

calls. They were way out of the money, some 50 points out of the money. The premium the seller got was huge, beefy: I had this image of corn-fed marbleized fat, dripping with plaque-clogging enzymes.

And I wanted to buy that call. I wanted to take that buyer. But then I looked at my calendar and remembered that I only have a handful of days -- that early expiration is a killer -- and I didn't do the trade.

Wrong! The DOT has been screaming even as the rest of the market looks terrible. You just can't sell DOT out-of-the-money calls, close your eyes, hold your nose and wait till expiration. They'll do you in every time.

Not hurting the DOT was some PR firm's absurd "Major Internet Announcement" blurb that came over the wires. That sent everybody scrambling to buy any Net names with the exception of

AOL

(AOL)

, which has gone down ever since the announcement, presumably because it has done work with the agency that issued the statement.

Yeah, really weird day.

James J. Cramer is manager of a hedge fund and co-founder of TheStreet.com. At time of publication, his fund was long America Online, although positions can change at any time. Under no circumstances does the information in this column represent a recommendation to buy or sell stocks. Cramer's writings provide insights into the dynamics of money management and are not a solicitation for transactions. While he cannot provide investment advice or recommendations, he invites you to comment on his column at

letters@thestreet.com.