Holy Thursday. Passover. There's plenty of reason to take today off.

Volume really fell off the cliff yesterday afternoon and most are expecting a pretty drowsy day of trading today. The markets are closed tomorrow for the Good Friday holiday.

Even though lots of folks won't even show up on a day like today, one thing that will continue is this week's outpouring of earnings. Leading the parade are such names as

Microsoft

(MSFT) - Get Report

,

Allstate

(ALL) - Get Report

,

Amgen

(AMGN) - Get Report

,

Gillette

(G) - Get Report

and

McDonald's

(MCD) - Get Report

.

TSC

-- since we're all about the love of earnings -- has assembled a

handy list of today's earnings for readers.

Even with all this,

Instinet

was reporting very little action this morning with

Cisco

(CSCO) - Get Report

, up 5/8 to 66 3/4, the top volume name, with about 12,000 shares trading hands. Also,

Commerce One

(CMRC)

, after a 2-for-1 split, was trading up 3 9/32 to 51.

Stocks look to open slightly higher this morning as the

S&P 500

June futures contract was up 2.7, about 3.5 points over fair value. The

Nasdaq 100

June contract was trading up 22.5 to 3645.

Last Night's After-Hours Trading

By Angela Privin
Staff Reporter

Hello? Is there anybody out there? Late-night trading was lonely during this Passover eve. Late-night lurkers were busy trading in matzo balls, while bunny-followers painted Easter eggs -- and

Island's

trading screen -- green.

One of the day session's big decliners caught a bit of a break in after-hours action -- or so it seemed.

Bristol-Myers Squibb

(BMY) - Get Report

, battered down 14 3/16, or 21.8%, to 50 15/16 in composite trading after pulling a major drug marketing application, moved up 1/2 to 50 1/2 on 127,947

Instinet

shares.

How's that? The Instinet trading is based on Bristol-Myers' New York close of 50, but the stock gained back some ground on other exchanges in composite action. That ends at 6:30 p.m. EDT, which is also when

TheStreet.com

gets its Instinet snapshot.

Blood and selling pressure soared during the day session after Bristol-Myers announced it will pull a request to market its new hypertension drug,

Vanlev

, after the

Food and Drug Administration

questioned its safety. The company also said four patients among thousands in clinical trials required breathing tubes because of severe reactions to the medicine.

In honor of the holidays, here's a riddle for you: What tech company has a Web presence in Asia, beat the pants off both Wall Street and whisper earnings expectations and sounds like an argument between a Russian and a Spaniard? Give up? We'll give you a hint. It spiked 4 13/16 points to 36 3/16 on 116,000 shares on Island.

Connoisseurs of Internet firms and corny jokes may have guessed by now that we're talking about

CNet

(CNET) - Get Report

, which announced a return to profitability today with earnings at 2 cents a share. Analysts polled by

First Call/Thomson Financial

expected a 6-cent loss and the whisper numbers called for a 3-cent shortfall.

While CNet was not expected to generate profits until the fourth quarter of 2000, the sneaky monkey increased revenue 126% to $45.4 million in the first quarter, its highest annual revenue growth rate in two years.

If you think that's good,

Commerce One

(CMRC)

pretty much broke the bank. The 1,564% increase in the e-commerce company's first-quarter revenue made the hearty growth of its technology brethren seem as pathetic as

Gary Coleman playing professional basketball.

Late-night traders rewarded Commerce One's super-sized revenue of $35 million vs. $2 million the year before, by lifting it 3 to 98 1/2 on 49,000 shares. While the street expected a loss of 12 cents a share and whisperers saw negative 11 cents, Commerce "We're Number" One showed the street which way to walk. It reported a loss of 9 cents a share.

Who can resist a cute computer?

Apple's

(AAPL) - Get Report

snappy ads and hyper-hip designs have helped propel the sales of the once-wormy company's computers. Hot PowerBook laptops and G4 high-end desktop computers, helped the California-based computer maker book second-quarter profits of 88 cents a share, beating street estimates of 81 cents and last year's profits of 84 cents. For those of you who like math, our late-night calculations show that while McIntosh apples are red, the company is in the green.

Apple shares traded up 4 3/16 to 125 1/2 on 97,000 shares on Island.

Apple decided to spread the love, announcing a 2-for-1 stock split after seeing its stock price soar in the last year.

Excite@Home

(ATHM) - Get Report

has left the building. The Internet provider reported a first-quarter loss of 1 cent a share, which is an improvement over the 2-cent loss it posted this time last year but fell short of Wall Street's expectations that it would break even. The company finally decided to comb its hair and leave the house, announcing plans to expand its international business.

The Internet company may be chased back home by mean after-hours traders, who sent Excite@Home's shares down 1 1/4 to 18 5/8 on 59,000 shares on Island.

Like an average student surrounded by overachievers, the stellar earnings of fellow tech companies made

Veritas Software

(VRTS) - Get Report

dim in comparison. The company met First Call/Thomson Financial earnings estimates of 12 cents a share and missed the whisper number by only a penny.

Late-night traders showed no mercy for the dumb kid, send the e-commerce company's stock 3 11/16 lower to 101 1/2 on 60,000 shares on Instinet.

If you don't celebrate Easter or Passover, then happy earnings season, because it is indeed a happy one so far for the long side.

This information is provided by Instinet, a wholly owned subsidiary of Reuters (RTRSY) . For further information, please contact Instinet at www.instinet.com.

Island ECN, owned by Datek Online, offers trading, mainly in Nasdaq-listed stocks, from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. EDT.

Confused?

TheStreet.com

explains how the rules change when the sun goes down in Investing Basics: Night Owl, a section devoted to after-hours trading.