The royal wedding is finally upon us, a time to celebrate the marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle at last. It will be a classy, elegant event unfolding as the entire world watches.
For something so regal and stylish, though, the royal wedding has led to some bizarre novelty items. There have been plenty of predictable choices for items to give a royal wedding theme - tea, dishes, champagne, and there have been some cute comics and coloring books for children as well.
The items we're talking about today, though, are not predictable and cute. They're confusing at best and terrifying at worst, but that also makes them way more interesting. These are not the items for someone who just wants the words "Harry & Meghan" on a coffee mug. These are for those who want something a little ... different.
5. Royal Wedding Beer
Beer isn't the weirdest choice, but it's a bit of a puzzling one. How do you go from royal wedding to beer? What does it even taste like?
Windsor & Eton Brewery thought about that for you so that you don't have to. Their limited "Harry & Meghan Windsor Knot" pale ale combines qualities from Prince Harry (Invicta hops for his role in creating the Invictus Games) and Meghan (American hops from the west coast, as she was born and raised in Los Angeles) along with champagne yeast. They're £2.25 a bottle, meaning £13.50 if you wanted to make a six-pack (that's $18.20).
4. Life-Size Harry and Meghan Cardboard Cutouts
Technically, there are also miniature cardboard cutouts available to, but come on. Go big or go home.
Available for $75.00 on Amazon, the cutout features the happy couple holding hands, dressed to the nines. There are also masks of their faces available, but I would rank the cardboard cutout as a stranger item. At least the masks can be used on Halloween. Unless you want something surprising for your royal wedding viewing party, there's no tangible use for these except placing them around the house and pretending they're your friends.
3. Inaccurate Royal Wedding Plates
There's no shortage of royal wedding plates for sale to celebrate the big occasion, but there's one plate in particular that stands out. Sold for $35 by Etsy user ModernChintz, the plate says "To commemorate the marriage of Prince Henry of Wales and Meghan Markle 19th May 2018," surrounding pictures of the happy couple. The one thing that makes it stand out, though, is that that's not a picture of Prince Harry. That's fellow British redhead Ed Sheeran.
I know that, you know that, and ModernChintz knows that. It's a great joke. What's especially funny is that when it first went viral, a lot of people didn't realize it was a joke, and they got very upset. That's as good a reason as any to have it around the house; you never know when it'll make one of your friends mad.
2. Harry & Meghan Bathing Suits
Look at these things. What hath science wrought.
Adorned with the giant faces of Prince Harry and Meghan, it's hard to take your eyes off them. Are they flattering? Who knows, you're not looking at the shape. You're trying not to make eye contact with it. It's £28 ($37.75) on Bags of Love's website, and a spokesperson for them told Huffington Post that there's a lot of demand for these suits.
It's definitely outside-the-box thinking, hard not to respect that. And what could be a weirder royal wedding item than the couple's faces zoomed in and plastered on a one-piece bathing suit?
1. Royal Wedding Condoms
Crown Jewels Heritage Condoms is selling royal wedding-themed condoms for the big day. They are £10. They are a limited item. They are described on the website as "sumptuous."
Did I mention the box is musical and plays "God Save the Queen" and "The Star-Spangled Banner?" That seems like it's worth mentioning.
This right here? This is peak royal wedding fever. It is easily the most ridiculous item available for royal wedding enthusiasts.
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